And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! 
-Philippians 2:8

Obedience as Faithful Response to the Inner Light

I used to think obedience meant conformity: following rules, honoring institutions, staying in line. To obey meant, to me, to be “good.”  Docile, even. Not causing trouble or disruption.

I was, of course, never very good at obedience.  Raised by a family who lived through the Civil Rights movement, we all viewed obedience as a surrendering to control.

I’ve joined enough organizations in my life as an adult to know that obedience can easily become allegiance to something that no longer reflects truth or justice. And when that happens, obedience becomes complicated.

When Obedience Feels Like Resistance

There were times I stepped out of conformity. I stopped supporting an organization that excluded transgender members. I spoke against racism in another. I’ve long carried the label of “chronic dissenter.” Not because I enjoy conflict, but because something in me resists false alignment.

Recently, in conversation with a spiritually grounded friend, I found myself naming a different kind of tension—not with institutions, but within myself. I know what I am called to do. My life, my work, my gifts—they all point in a clear direction. And yet, I hesitate. What if I fail? What if I lose the safety I’ve built?

She told me something simple: God makes us uncomfortable when we are not obedient.

That stayed with me.

I’ve known the feeling before. When I left the District of Columbia to focus on writing, it wasn’t easy, but it was right. There was peace, even in uncertainty.

With stability, income, and routine came a false comfort. Eventually the agitation came. A sense that something is off. That I am no longer aligned with the direction I once knew so clearly.

I used to resist the word obedience because it felt like submission—to power, to systems, to silence. But I’m beginning to understand it differently. Obedience is not about surrendering to external authority. It is about responding to the Inner Light with trust.

Trust is the feeling. Obedience is the action. Faith is the way of life.

When I don’t act on what I know to be true, I am choosing fear.  And that is not who Carolyn, daughter of William Henry, son of Frank, raised me to be.

I cannot live one life and expect the fruit of another. If I have been given a vision, then obedience means stepping toward it.

Even in times such as these.

Especially in times such as these.

Because the God who has guided me this far has not left me.