Guidelines for Quaker discussion groups provide suggestions for respectful, thoughtful, and supportive group conversations. Groups can always co-create norms that fit their community and culture.

Use “I” Statements

Share your ideas and thoughts as your own perspectives. Begin with phrases such as “I believe…” or “I feel that….” Also, recognize that your beliefs grow out of your life experiences.

Listen deeply and lovingly, responding in a collaborative spirit.

Listen and respond in a collaborative spirit. Accept each person’s contribution as an expression of their experience, whether or not you share it. Stay curious and learn from the perspectives of others.

Wait a few seconds before speaking

Before you speak, slow the discussion and reduce interruptions. Take a few deep breaths after another person shares.

Self-monitor the frequency of your contributions

If you tend to speak readily, slowly count to ten before you speak. Someone in the group may need more “time space” to feel comfortable or safe speaking up.

Pay attention to the power dynamics of the group

Notice whether one person has taken too much time or shaped the flow of the sharing. Ask whether this pattern limits safety, respect, or mutuality.

Honor confidentiality

Keep personal information shared within the group in confidence.

These Guidelines for Quaker discussion groups support respectful listening, reflection, and participation in group settings.

Learn more about Quaker practices on the FGC website.

Last edited on June 16, 2026.