Adapted from Exploring New Attender Experiences in Quaker Meetings by Arnon Reichers.
Friend Arnon Reichers of Ohio completed a study for the School of the Spirit on newcomer socialization, retention and turnover among unprogrammed Friends. Arnon uses the phrase newcomer socialization to refer to the things that newcomers go through that affect their intention to remain with the organization.
In her study, Arnon notes that formal newcomer socialization literature conceives of the organizational entry process in terms of a three stage model. While models vary somewhat, they usually include
- a pre-entry stage that occurs before the newcomer actually arrives
- an encounter stage, during which newcomers first come in contact with the organization
- a subsequent settling-in stage where the newcomers become accepted members of the
organization.
During the pre-arrival stage, newcomers develop expectations about the organization and its members. They imagine their own role and how others will treat them. Research in business organizations shows that newcomers often have unrealistic expectations. These expectations usually result from a lack of valid, concrete information.
During the encounter stage, newcomers come face to face with organizational realities. Some experiences confirm expectations, while others challenge them. Most newcomers experience some unpleasant surprises during this stage. At this point, those who cannot adjust often leave for greener pastures.
During the settling-in stage, newcomers lose their newcomer status and become established members. They sort out the roles they must play. They also learn the informal insider norms that guide the organization.
Arnon adapted these ideas for Quaker meetings and new attenders. What follows focuses primarily on the encounter stage. This stage is usually where newcomers decide whether to stay or leave. The article also includes information about the settling-in stage.
The data comes from twenty Friends representing twenty-four different monthly meetings in Michigan, Ohio, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, New York, New Hampshire, Virginia, and Tennessee. The survey used open-ended questions. Friends listed experiences from their first few meetings and described what encouraged them to return. They also shared opinions about practices that help newcomers continue attending.
Encounter Stage
Warm welcome: This was the most important thing in helping newcomers decide to return. A warm welcome included a greeter at the door, a person or persons whose responsibility it was to greet and introduce newcomers to others, members of the meeting introducing themselves and saying “welcome”, and/or a welcome table. Designated people should continue to sit with and chat with newcomers after the initial meeting. It is important to avoid “cliquishness” that might make a new attender feel shut out. Being asked if the newcomer wanted to be put on a mailing list, and follow up phone calls or emails were also important in the overall perception of being welcome.
However, respondents also indicated that not feeling overwhelmed or pressured to return was also important in their comfort level with Friends’ meeting. Specifically, not being asked questions about their beliefs or their previous religious affiliations was a relief, as was being told not to sign up for a committee right away out of a sense of duty or obligation.
Access to information: Many respondents mentioned that receiving a pamphlet(s) about basic Quaker beliefs and practices helped put them at ease. Some members made a point of giving newcomers some history about the meeting and inviting questions. It is important that members of the meeting be willing and able to talk about what Quakerism means to them. Respondents also mentioned access to the library and recommendations about particular books to read were helpful in giving them information they needed to feel part of the meeting. New attenders could also benefit from reminders about when a potluck is coming up and other scheduled events.
Opportunities for children: It was very important to the parents of children that there was a First Day School and other events for children. Respondents felt comfortable when people were nice to their children and accepting of nursing during meeting for worship.
Other positive encounter events included:
- a website that is interesting and informative
- a common, simple meal offered every week
- explanations of acronyms during conversations
- a meeting house that is fully accessible to people with physical challenges
- being sent a card after surgery and receiving a visit at home
- being offered a key to the meeting house
Settling In Stage
Opportunities to serve: People felt like they had become more established in meeting when they were asked to serve on a committee. It is important, however, that this not happen too early in the newcomer’s attendance. It was also important not to pressure people with children to start doing childcare too early in the process.
Opportunities to socialize: People felt accepted when they received invitations from others to attend meeting events. Friendly Eights received multiple mentions as good vehicles for feeling accepted and connected with others in meeting. It is also important to work out any on-going conflicts or rifts in the meeting, otherwise the tension is palpable and off-putting to newcomers.
Opportunities to learn more: Several respondents indicated that after they had been attending meeting for some time (six months to a year), they had the opportunity to join a spiritual formation group and/or enroll in Quakerism 101. These opportunities allowed them to learn more about Quakerism, but also to become more connected as members of a smaller, more intimate group.
Settling in was also facilitated:
- when there were no behavioral distinctions made between members and attenders
- when there was support for an individual’s personal ministry
- when there was encouragement to attend FGC and an annual retreat.
Conclusions
It is tempting to conclude that most of these results reflect common sense. It is also tempting to believe that most meetings do well at integrating newcomers. However, during this research, Arnon heard many horror stories about first encounters in meetings. Therefore, meetings should not become complacent. Instead, they should examine their policies and practices to ensure they do not alienate potential new members.
It is also important to recognize that newcomer socialization takes time. The process extends far beyond being friendly during the first meeting or two. Meetings must actively care for, engage, and socialize newcomers over time before they feel fully integrated into meeting life.
Last edited on June 12, 2026.