Would you like to get to know the High School and Young Adult Friends in your Meeting better?

Talk to them! Set up small informal gatherings of interested Friends of all ages. Put together some queries to open up the discussion. Open your hearts to each other. We found again and again that Friends of all ages really need and want many of the same things. While different ages bring specific needs, for the most part our similarities are greater than our differences. The following queries might be helpful:

• What has your experience been as a Friend?
• What are the ways you are living your faith?
• What has been helpful to your spiritual growth?
• What do you need from your meeting to help you in your spiritual journey.
• What gifts do you bring to Meeting?

To increase intimacy with others, we must be willing

• To be vulnerable
• To be honest and open in sharing experience
• To listen deeply
• To hold each other accountable
• To recognize and appreciate each others gifts
• To examine and question our assumptions about age
• To recall our experience at various ages but not presume they were universal
• To be prepared for wonderful surprises, challenges and growth!

Would you like your Monthly Meetings to feel like a healthy intergenerational family?
We often separate members and attenders into similar age groups (High School, College Age, Young Adult Friends, Older Friends) for Religious Education or social gatherings. However, if our experience is primarily of gatherings of similar age-groups, we lose the benefit of the perspective and experience of Friends who are in a different life stage.

Possible activities to increase intergenerational community might include:

• Intergenerational Friendships
• Intergenerational Dialogues
• Intergenerational Bookgroups
• Offer opportunities for intergenerational sharing of spiritual journeys
• Talk to each other! Rather than the cursory questions like “How is school? Where will you go to college? What are you going to do now that you have graduated?” Ask questions like: “What have you been doing lately? What kinds of things are you interested in? How is your heart? How are you doing?” Always meet and accept people where they are, some are shy and may not respond with a lot, that is okay! Pick up on something they say and ask more about it. Share your own experience but don’t teach or preach!
• Service Projects
• Work Days
• Play

Possible changes to increase intergenerational community:

• Look for other’s gifts and how those gifts can be best realized and utilized. Inquire of sojourning college age or high school friends about their desire to become engaged in the Meeting. Everyone should feel the responsibility of the nominating committee!
• Be open to messages, ministry or eldering from all, regardless of age. Many younger Friends are seasoned with deep roots to their Quakerism. Many have ministry to offer and could benefit from encouragement and support from their meetings.
• Create a structure & process by which clearness committees can be used for discernment of life transitions. High School and Young Adult Friends face some of the most important of life decisions: selective service registration, vocation, college, choosing life partners, whether or not to have children, etc. Many times they are not even aware of the availability of clearness committees for help in making these decisions.
• Inquire of all, but especially younger attenders about their readiness to seek membership in the Religious Society of Friends.
• Include input from everyone in making major meeting decisions. Go to the High School youth and ask for their input.
• When High School Friends leave for college or work, keep in touch with them — send them the newsletter, send a care package occasionally. Contact the meeting in the town where they will be living and let them know your teen will be arriving and ask them to initiate contact, welcome them and perhaps offer a ride to meeting.
• Welcome college age and adult young Friends from other meetings and facilitate their involvement in meeting. Don’t assume that because someone is transient that they don’t want to be active in meeting.

Are you concerned about your Religious Education Program?
Many small meetings worry that they do not have enough youth to offer viable religious education or youth programs. We learned several things:

• High School and Young Adult Friends want programs that will enrich and deepen their spiritual experience.
• Sometimes they do not have the experience necessary to know what resources are available or what topics to explore. Don’t be afraid to offer your experience, knowledge and wisdom”¦.just don’t preach!
• One person is enough! If you only have one High School age person, have people who are happy to talk to them, explore spiritual topics, share their experience and most of all listen to them.
• Combine with other Meetings or churches for service programs or fun activities
• Help your High School Friends, especially, to connect with wider Quaker opportunities where they will meet other young Friends.

Note to Readers: This is a relatively unseasoned and “in-process” document. We are hoping to expand and refine it significantly with more time and input. This was put together by Robin Greenler and Karen Stewart. We welcome your input! Email emilys@fgcquaker.org