Supporting Young Adult Friends in Your Meeting

A strong intergenerational community is one that knows how to be relevant to people in many different stages of life. Learn how to create a welcoming structure that is friendly for people in their teens, 20s, and 30s. Many of these suggestions are written for an audience of older adults. For a related resource, see Intergenerational Spaces That Empower.

Create a Welcoming Structure

Set up a listserv, email list, or group chat for Young Adult Friends in your area.
If your meeting has a Young Adult Friends group, be sure that the group is listed in the weekly bulletin. Make announcements at the rise of meeting so that people know about upcoming events.
Ask younger Friends to serve on committees. When you ask, be sure to affirm the spiritual gifts that you see in them and offer concrete examples.
Encourage younger Friends to engage with the wider Quaker community. Invite people in their 20s and 30s to connect to the Adult Young Friends group at the FGC Gathering.
Financial aid may be important to some young people in your meeting. If your meeting has money set aside for spiritual development, be sure to tell younger Friends about scholarship opportunities. Work with your meeting to ensure that the financial aid process is straightforward, with clear boundaries. Help people understand what a reasonable request might be.
If your meeting has Young Adult Friends who are parents, then be sure to provide childcare during Young Adult Friend events.
Encourage the young adults in your meeting to consider becoming members. If they aren’t interested, transition to asking them what gives them joy or energy or spiritual grounding in life, and sincerely listen.
Make sure that all youth and young adults in the meeting know that they are valued for their spiritual gifts and presence in your community. Do not tell someone that you want them on your committee “because you are young.” Focus on their spiritual gifts.

Be Present for Transitions

Graduating High School

Many high school students are preparing for graduation, which can be an important turning point for some people. Different people live out their lives differently, so pay attention to what’s important to teens and young adults in your meeting. If you have teens who are transitioning to young adult life, consider what kind of community send-off would be meaningful to them.

Here are a few ideas to consider:

Send a birthday card each year to young adults who grew up in the meeting
If a teen is graduating high school, give them a gift to mark the transition. You might check with the teen first and see if a copy of Faith and Practice is really what they want. See if they’d like to have a one-year gift subscription to Friends Journal or to receive a book signed by adults and children in the meeting.
Recruit elementary and middle school students to bake cookies and send care packages to high school students who have moved out of town.
Offer to write teens a letter of introduction to a future Quaker community. In the letter, affirm the spiritual gifts and talents that you see in that person.
Welcome young people back during holiday breaks: make a fuss and celebrate!

Starting Internships, Jobs, or Life in a New State

Offer a token from the meeting that young people can take with them. Perhaps it’s a small notecard or handmade object that they can put on their desk. Keep in mind that many young people move houses frequently, so a gift that’s compact may be helpful.
Have a spiritual Friend or elder keep in touch with young adults. Ask the person if they’d like you to hold them in prayer during Finals or when applying for a job.
Acknowledge young adults after meeting if they are back for a visit. Ask them what they have been learning. Be open to the changes that are happening in a person’s life.
Take turns writing young adults once a month. Invite middle and high school students who know the young adults to send something along.
In your newsletter, create a section for updates from young adults. Regularly ask people in their teens and 20s to tell the meeting what they’re up to.
Before they leave, invite young adults personally to the next yearly meeting session. If you can, tell them why you think they, specifically, would enjoy it. Ask people in your meeting if they need financial assistance to attend yearly meeting sessions.
Get in touch with Young Adult Friends who no longer attend. Express a genuine interest in their lives. Ask them to send a postcard or an email once a year so the meeting can celebrate what they’re up to.

Support Young Adult Friends 1-on-1

Personal support and outreach is a great ministry for people in your meeting with the following gifts: sincerity, welcoming, enthusiasm, teachers, counselors, and extroverts.

At the rise of meeting, greet anyone you don’t recognize, including young people. Remember that just because someone is new to you does not mean that they’re new to Quakerism. Instead of asking if they’re new to meeting, say: “Hi! I don’t recognize you, but I’d like to say hello. My name is…”

If your meeting has Young Adult Friends who are regular attenders, ask them to come to meeting for business. Introduce them to someone who is good at interpreting Quaker practices to newcomers. Or, invite them to sit near you during the meeting so you can describe Quaker jargon that comes up during the meeting.

If you have built rapport with someone, you might ask them about their access needs. Some Young Adult Friends travel primarily by bike, bus, or on foot. If they need a ride to an event, offer to set up a carpool.

Remember the Age Range

Because Young Adult Friends range in age from 18-35, a Young Adult Friend group may include people in many different life stages. Be sure that your events reflect that diversity of life experience. Make room, with announcements and appropriate activities, for the following groups: high schoolers, people in college, people who are parents, couples and singles, people with full-time jobs, people with disabilities, and people who may be seeking work.

More Resources

Read: Young Adult Wants Want Early Friends Had, an article in Friends Journal by Olivia Chalkley (2023).

Material on this page was inspired by the 12 How-To’s of Intergenerational Community. This document includes suggestions for game nights, intergenerational conversations, attracting young families, and supporting young adults in their sojourns. It’s made to be used as a print resource.

Page created on December 18, 2025