Hosting an intergenerational retreat is a wonderful way to integrate new families, energize your First Day School program, and build lasting memories. Retreats for children should include movement as well as brief periods of quiet. Some retreats are for families; some are for children only; and some are welcoming to adult volunteers who do not have children of your own. No matter who attends, retreats are a great opportunity to experience awe, delight, and reverence.

For information on planning an intergenerational event

Who’s Coming?

When you’re planning a family retreat, look for ways to reach critical mass. If each child has a playmate close to their age, that improves the experience for parents and children alike. If you are part of a small Quaker meeting, reach out to families within your quarterly meeting or yearly meeting who may be willing to make the drive.

Be sure that your registration form asks for the ages of children attending. Consider setting a registration deadline before the program starts so that you have ample time to prepare age-appropriate activities. Consider how much time you will need to pivot into new activities, and consider, too, the need for parents to have some last-minute flexibility.

Child Safety at Retreats

Be sure that all adults who work with youth are trained in Child Safety practices, including mandated reporter training. Keep a careful list of record checks and clearance information for every adult who might work with children. That way, if you are leading an activity and a young one needs to step out to use the bathroom, there are multiple adults ready to lead a group bathroom break. As you may know, no adult should be one-on-one with a child at any time. Stick with two adults and one child, or 2-3 children in a group with an adult.

As you plan the intergenerational retreat, be mindful of adult-to-child ratios. Consider a 6:1 ratio for elementary age children, and slightly fewer adults for programs with older children. This allows for personal care of each child.

Intergenerational Games

Friends General Conference offers a rich online library of intergenerational games from our year of leading Junior Gathering. Learn about ways to open and build rapport; running games; totally silly games; and role-playing. The key to a great youth program lies in having a wide array of tools for different moments. Read the body language in the room. Are people drooping? They may need a nap or an energizer. Are their eyes alight and their heads moving quickly to follow the action? They might be enjoying the current activity; maybe there is a way to extend it or create a variation.

Memorable youth retreats will have a balance of activities, such as music, nature walks, partner activities, running games, quiet games, and creative brain teasers.

One of the most rewarding joys that we experience as staff is to see and feel the glow of happy and fulfilled children being reunited with their parents after lunch on Sunday. When it’s hard for them to leave, when children say, “this retreat should last longer!” and when parents struggle to get them out the door and into the car, then we know that it’s been a good retreat!”

-Kevin Lee, a recorded minister and member of Westport (MA) Friends Meeting in New England Yearly Meeting

Theme and Program Development

The theme of a youth retreat can inspire specific games, worship-sharing questions, or art activities. Often a simple theme, such as “amphibians,” “consent,” or “curiosity,” will suffice. Simple themes give room to be creative, while also creating a sense of cohesion.
Look for Scripture, Faith and Practice quotes, or teachings that match with your theme. If you are planning a once-in-a-year gathering, a theme may not be necessary. The point is to meet and mingle together!

Retreat Location

Look for locations that have adequate breakout spaces for both large and small group activities. Plan ahead for rain or cold weather. Which outdoor events will be affected by rain? Look for areas that have pavilions and outdoor structures as well as good indoor spaces.

If you are planning a retreat in a new location, be sure that the retreat leader takes time to visit the space before-hand. Is the stove in working order? Which room would be best for Meeting for Worship? Is there poison ivy, barbed wire, or water nearby? Make a plan ahead-of time for which areas are in-bounds.

Publicity

Make announcements at your meeting, reaching out personally to each set of families. If you’re able to, send a text or a phone call to recent attenders who have stopped showing up at meeting. Be invitational, but not pushy.

If you hold a repeating event, then pay attention to the spiritual pulse of the group each year, so you can describe to newcomers what to expect at this kind of retreat. Find key words that capture the feel of the event. Keep track of children’s ages so that you can tell parents whether their child will have an age-mate. Read the evaluation forms from the last event to understand what people appreciated, and advertise the highlights to new seekers. Share event information well in advance on your website. Updating your meeting’s website with the date and location means that all families will be able to learn key details, not just well-connected families.

As you announce information to families, be sure to name any deadlines, such as the deadline to have on-site housing or the deadline to receive infant childcare. Ask about each person’s food allergies and access needs. Shape the retreat around access needs in the group.

Retreat Schedules and Timelines

Some intergenerational retreats are more structured than others. If you post a schedule with times listed, then do your best to adhere to those times. There may be families joining midway through the retreat; they will want to know where and how to find the group. If you have an intergenerational retreat with parents, then consider ringing a large bell so that people know when Session starts and it’s time to gather. If there are quiet hours, be sure to share about those on the first night. Younger children will need a space to settle down earlier in the night, and they may benefit from a bedtime story.

Many family retreats run from a Friday evening to a Sunday at noon. You can expect that the first night will be about getting settled and shrugging off the stresses of the week. Refrain from planning any in-depth or cognitive programs on Friday night. Give people space to meet each other and hold some fun icebreaker activities. If you have an older group, such as high school, then save most of the content for Saturday. In many cases, young people will be tired on Sunday morning, whether that’s from staying up late, from passing as an extrovert, or from being in a new place and taking in all of the sights and sounds.

Plan for a rest time in the afternoon, at least an hour, with quiet / solo time. This gives people permission to disengage, and it can be very helpful as a restorative break.

It’s wise to think of a closing activity on Sunday before the last meal. That may be worship-sharing, with a short time for each person to share on a query such as “What is one thing that you loved doing this weekend?” It may be a storytelling session guided by adults, in which the listeners hear a recap of highlights from the weekend in an imaginative form. Holding Meeting for Worship — and committing to having that time for centering — can be an important affirmation of the Quaker faith as well as a good closing.

Lastly, save time for Lost and Found on the final day! This will decrease the amount of time it takes to track down owners of mittens and art supplies after you have dispersed.

Inclusion and Welcome

Offer nametags as people arrive at the retreat. For children ages 2 and under, place the nametag on their back so that adults can call the child by the correct name. Invite people to add pronouns to their nametags if they wish. You can expect that most youth will not continue to wear their nametag throughout the weekend, but it can be helpful on the first day.

As you move through the retreat, pay attention to group dynamics. Are there cliques forming that exclude some people? Praise the children who welcome each other and offer service to one another. If you are holding a small-group activity, you might use a creative game to separate people into groups so that they are randomized.

More Resources

This article was inspired by information in the FGC archives and written by Johanna Jackson on December 15, 2025. Last updated December 30, 2025.

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