This page describes ways to create a meeting culture that includes and empowers young people. This page is part of the Intergenerational Communities resource section and is mostly written for older adults. There are three sections to this page: Intergenerational Events, Intergenerational Conversations, and Intergenerational Worship Spaces.
Younger Friends may want to see Young Adult & Youth Ministries or the High School Program.
Intergenerational Conversations
Accompany young people, rather than fixing them
Accompany people on their life journeys. Resist the temptation to swoop in and fix something for a young person. Listen first, and affirm what you hear. Stay present for the emotions that show up for them. Stay with uncertainty.
If someone is floundering and that is hard for you, recognize that inclination and that feeling in yourself. Rather than giving advice, ask the person what would be helpful for them. For example: “You’re sharing about a tough situation. Do you want more time time to share; do you want to brainstorm together; or would it work better if I asked you yes or no questions to get started?”
Watch out for ageism
When it comes to spiritual gifts, new leaders emerge in people of all ages. A healthy intergenerational community is one that embraces gifts from people in all ages and stages. If you are an older adult and you’re working with young people who offer leadership roles, avoid ageist comments such as “You are so smart for your age!”
Be teachable
Ask a young person to teach you what they know. For a toddler, that might mean asking them to show you words that they know. If a high school student has attended a workshop on consent, you could ask them if they’d like to share key takeaways with the meeting. Be teachable. Ask a young person to be on your clearness committee to accompany you through a life choice — and be intentional about heeding the wisdom that they offer.
Be authentic and honest
Show your passion. What are you curious about? Ask questions. If someone older or younger than you shares about something you’ve never heard of, be curious about why they care about that thing and what they receive from it.
If you don’t know what to say, consider naming that. You might even say: “I don’t know what to say here — will you help me out?” Or: “What would be helpful for you?” Above all, be authentic and honest.
Intergenerational Events
If your meeting is thinking about hosting an intergenerational event, be sure to consult with young people, ask about access needs, and create leadership opportunities.
Include young people in planning stages
If your meeting is discussing issues that affect youth, such as divestment from oil, climate change, money for youth retreats, or the holiday party, then include youth in the early discussions. A good phrase to rely on is: “Nothing about us without us.” If your meeting has young people, ask them to write a State of the Meeting report together. Add to this report with perspectives from older adults, but don’t edit out content. A meeting that includes and empowers young people is one that responds well to input.
A list of intergenerational events to consider:
- Game nights
- Pizza night
- Group murals
- Journaling or sketching outside
- Family friendly meeting for worship (wiggle worship)
- Camp out at the meetinghouse
- A knitting or fabric arts group
- Progressive dinner including stops at younger Friends’ colleges
- Annual wreath-making
- Listening to Faith & Play stories
- Films/discussion groups
- Singing before or after meeting
- Hikes, sports, picnics, or active games
- Making Stone Soup together
- Younger and older people interviewing each other for a meeting booklet
- Intergenerational fish-bowl
- Trip to an eco-village or conservation site
- Summer campfire
- Swim party at the local pool or lake
- Community contra dance
- Host a forum on spirituality and sexuality
Ask about access needs
Ask people what their access needs are, and build the event around that. For instance, look out for mobility concerns and people who have difficulty hearing. Pay attention for people, particularly youth, who are highly active and need something to stimulate their senses. Ask parents about good times for committee meetings so that they won’t conflict with bedtime or nap time. Offer people rides to get to activities.
When you create an event, think ahead about how people can participate in different ways based on their ability. Are you hosting a retreat? Make sure that introverts know that it’s fine to attend some activities and not all. Emphasize the importance of 1-on-1 chats and time alone to restore. Hosting a bowling party? Bring some board games along for people who want to stay seated. If you have a campfire, ask for musicians in the group and ask someone to build the fire, and be sure that food provided includes some options for people with food allergies.
Create leadership opportunities
Many students in high school need to complete service projects as part of their classwork or yearly curriculum. Invite students to choose a service-learning site. If you have a larger meeting or quarterly meeting, then create leadership roles for youth that involve a certificate of completion. A certificate is something that students can list on their resume when they are applying for jobs and internships.
Consider the following leadership and service projects:
- Cooking for people whose illnesses keep them at home
- Attending a rally or protest to end gun violence
- Making cookies or care packages for college students
- Creating a banner for the next Pride parade
- Young Adult Advocates for Friends Committee on National Legislation
- Visiting a nursing home together
- Creating care packages (or letters) for prisoners
- Supplying resources to your local LGBTQ+ advocacy group
- Taking a trip to a nearby meeting and offering community service there
- Prairie or local greenspace restorations
Ask people for good times to meet
If you are planning an intergenerational event, ask people about what times are good to meet. Keep in mind that middle and high school students may be busy at the end of the semester and focused on school, so pay attention to your local school calendars. Morning programs may not be friendly to the biological clocks of most high school students. Young children will have a nap schedule that’s important for their well-being as well as that of their parents. Ask people what times would be good for them.
At the meetinghouse, consider holding Meeting for Worship in mid-morning rather than early morning. This can be a better time for some Young Adult Friends. There may be Friends at your meeting who rely on public transit, and transit routes run on reduced schedules on the weekend. There may be Friends at your meeting who stay up late on weekends to study or hang with friends. Ask people to understand what would work well for them.
Intergenerational activities in a meeting help to attract more young people and can enliven a community. Many families with children are attracted to spaces where there already are families with children.
Ask for feedback
During and after the event, ask people: What worked? What were the barriers? What would you like to see us do again? Ask young people for their opinions and suggestions, and act on them.
Intergenerational Worship Spaces
Many young people carry a deep and vibrant sense of the Spirit. Find ways for your Quaker meeting to encourage many different expressions of Spirit. In worship each week, be sure that part of the worship focuses on children specifically. If your meeting closes with songs, invite a Young Friend to choose the song.
Make the Meetinghouse Child-Friendly
Set up a small bookshelf in the meetinghouse with materials that children can handle quietly during worship. These might include a magnifying glass, small felted animals, pipe cleaners, or picture books. Be sure that the place where families meet for First Day School is both welcoming and safe.
Consider having a meeting for worship outside near a playground when the weather is nice. Host an annual recognition day for children. On that day, offer small gifts, such as a book from QuakerPress or a flower, to each child with an affirmation.
Support Parents at Your Meeting
Within your Quaker meeting, offer a clear and specific invitation to parents. If nursing a baby is welcome anywhere in the meetinghouse, make that clear on your website. Welcome the sounds that young children bring to meeting for worship. Offer childcare during committee meetings. Create space for parents to meet one another and to have informal social time together. Offer childcare during Meeting for Worship. If your meeting is able, support parents during the social time at the end of the meeting by offering a short activity for children.
Help parents find respite in the meetinghouse. Recruit non-parents to work in First Day School, so that parents can participate in Meeting for Worship.
Quaker practices and activities that support parents include:
- Open hangout time without an agenda, with time to talk to other parents
- Clearness committees
- Parents’ nights out
- Quaker topics discussion groups
- Friends Couple Enrichment weekends
Credits
This page was created by Johanna Jackson on December 18, 2025. Lists of activities and service projects come from the 12 How-To’s of Intergenerational Community. Advice about youth empowerment, youth consultation, consent, inclusion, and accompaniment comes from Analea Blackburn of Genesse Valley Monthly Meeting and Melinda Wenner Bradley of West Chester Meeting. For similar resources, see this article in Friends Journal.