Sponsored by the FGC Religious Education Committee
Issue #4, Fall 2002
Working with Middle and High School Friends, by Curt Torell
On the Road, by David and Virginia Wood
The Lost Son, or the Loving Father, by Michael Gibson
| Sponsored by the FGC Religious Education Committee Issue #4, Fall 2002
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| In this
issue: Working with Middle and High School Friends, by Curt Torell On the Road, by David and Virginia Wood The Lost Son, or the Loving Father, by Michael Gibson
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Working
with Middle and High School Friends: BY CURT TORELL [The ideas expressed in this article are a culmination of views from various develop-mental psychologists and educators. Specifically referenced are: Scales, Wiles & Bondi, Pikunas, and Erikson, among others. Other comments are a result of personal experience from working in middle and high schools and parenting three children.] Middle school and high school Friends represent two entirely different groups in terms of developmental needs. The former (roughly grades 6th through 8th) are young adolescents entering a stage of rapid and volatile growth driven by raging hormones. As they leave the quiet and protected years of childhood, they begin a transition into adulthood. Yet, these years are marked with awkwardness, confusion, and uncertainty. Fortunately, as high school begins, their bodies adjust to the dramatic physical changes and their emotional roller coaster starts to settle. In the later teen years (roughly grades 9th through 12th), the discomforts diminish, and they begin to blossom into an adult identity. Let’s take a closer look at the developmental stages of each group, beginning with the young adolescents we call middle schoolers. Only recently have the middle school years been given sufficient attention by developmental psychologists and educators. The term “transescence” describes this rapid transition from child to adult. Physical development accelerates with increases in weight, height, heart size, lung capacity, and muscular strength. Bones grow faster than muscles and their supporting tendons, often resulting in a lack of coordination and awkwardness. Extremities—arms, hands, feet, noses, and ears—tend to grow faster leading to self-consciousness and embarrassment. Cowlicks, pimples, and changes in voice add to the problem. Hormone imbalances cause acne, allergies, and body odor. Metabolism fluctuates from restlessness to listlessness. The “transescent” tires more easily. To confound matters, these overwhelming changes start at a different time and at a different rate for different individuals, and girls tend to mature physically a year or two sooner than boys. Within the same grade level and gender, weight can vary by as much as 80 pounds and height by 2 feet! Emotions are also erratic. Feelings may shift from superiority to inferiority, from comfort to over-sensitivity, and from assurance to fear and anxiety. The chemical and hormonal imbalances seemingly shift from one hour to the next, bouncing behavior from child-like at one extreme to quite mature at the other. Just when you start treating the “transescent” like an adult, he or she may act very much like a child and vice-versa. With all these rapid physical and emotional spurts, brain growth tends to slow with a gradual shift from concrete thinking to abstract, independent, and critical thinking. “Transescent” learners prefer active to passive learning and want to interact with peers during learning activities. Often they will argue to the end to convince others of their egocentric, and sometimes off-base, views. The social focus development for the “transescent” broadens from family to peer group. Middle schoolers tend to sacrifice their own individual preferences and styles for acceptance into a peer group. Fads in clothes, speech, mannerisms, and music tend to define choices and actions. “Puppy love” can shower extreme devotion to one person, yet it can be transferred almost overnight to another. Despite the importance of peers, however, adults and the family are still the authoritative and stabilizing force. This is the vital distinction between the middle and high school years. Some refer to these “transescent” years as “the last best chance” that adults have to exert their guidance and influence over these children. So, what are key elements in working with the middle school aged youngster? Developmental psychologists and educators suggest these: (1) positive social interactions with adults and peers, (2) structure and clear limits, (3) physical activity, (4) creative expression, (5) competence and achievement, (6) meaningful participation in families, schools, and communities, and (7) opportunities for self-definition. In contrast, let us turn to the older, high school aged, teen. After the whirlwind of “transesence,” older adolescents seem to settle down, at least in terms of physical growth and emotional independence. Growth slows and hormones balance out. Older teens begin to accept their physiques as somewhat set, though appearance is frequently influenced by the chosen fashion, hairstyle, or cosmetics of the peer group. In addition, the behavior of later teens is more consistent and self-regulated. Gone is the erratic back and forth from child-like to adult emotional reactions. Suddenly, they act and feel “grown up” and may take offense when asked, “Where are you going?” or “What have you been doing?” Attaining emotional independence and overcoming family dependence is now the driving force. Older teens want to be adults and want others to see them as such. Often this “breaking away” is emotionally charged. Authority figures, especially parents, can be resented and resisted. Even within close families and loving parent/child relationships, teenagers must establish their own independent identity and sense of autonomy in an adult world. Teen interests expand in a variety of personal, social, and cultural contexts. Finding role models with whom to identify helps develop self-identity, though it can sometimes become focused, narrow, and fixated. Introspection and egocentric tendencies intensify. Concern for oneself can overshadow concern for parents, siblings, and friends. Self-control is strengthened by developing internal values and principles. Questions like, “Who am I?” and “What kind of person would I like to be?” are important. Fantasies, daydreaming, and personal exploration nurture a personal view of life. Older teens refine their interpersonal skills by sharing their personal experiences, especially within their peer group. Topics include relationships, music and movies, sports and TV shows, sex and morals, parents and teachers, money and status, and popular celebrities. Dating, as well as socializing in groups, helps to establish close relationships and cultivates tact and social graces. Frequent dating sometimes leads to intimacy, love, and sexual exploration. In contrast to the middle schooler, then, the teen of high school age has a different set of developmental needs. These include: (1) attaining emotional independence, (2) accepting one’s adult physique as final and set, (3) improving social skills in wider contexts, (4) developing self-fulfillment, (5) internalizing a “philosophy of life,” and (6) moving toward self regulation and internal controls. From the volatile changes in growth and dependence on adults, the older teen evolves physically and emotionally into an independent and self reliant adult. As First Day School teachers and as parents, we often forget these basic developmental needs and differences between middle and high school aged Friends. Too often we misunderstand or ignore their significance. Yet, their expression is both inevitable and necessary if our young Friends are to pass successfully from childhood to adulthood. Recognizing these stages can be particularly valuable and reassuring to adults in understanding behavior; planning curriculum and activities; and accepting a young Friend’s growth as a natural, though sometimes bumpy, process. | |
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| On
the Road
BY DAVID AND VIRGINIA WOOD During the last three years, we have visited isolated meetings in Alaska, Canada, and Idaho, as well as being FGC visitors to SAYMA, Baltimore, Southeastern, and Iowa Conservative yearly meetings [see Travel Among Friends, an account of one of their trips]. The most frequent questions we are asked have to do with religious education. What curricula and ideas do we know of to make First Day School more meaningful? How can religious education responsibilities be shared more fully within a meeting? We do our best to answer questions, mainly through religious education materials, which we carry with us or from our experiences within our own yearly meeting, monthly meeting, and Friends General Conference. We also observe a lot of great ideas. A description of a few of those ideas follows. Perhaps one of them might be of interest to you. Many of the meetings we visited met in rented space or homes. All agree that putting one’s meeting and First Day School in movable open or closed carts on wheels is a must. It has been intriguing to see what comes off of and out of those carts! With most meeting memberships being small, staffing for First Day School is a concern, particularly for the older youth. At Juneau MM, Alaska, the teens take turns leading their discussion program. Topics vary weekly alternating between Quaker study, Bible study, and contemporary issues. There is an adult presence for support. On the fourth First Day, the entire meeting conducts an intergenerational worship in which the teens participate. On a fifth First Day, the teens work with the younger group. A high percentage of the meetings we have visited were hundreds of miles from another meeting or separated from another meeting by a major mountain range or body of water. We found a strong sense of community wherever we went. Children were an integral part of each meeting. It was not unusual for children to be present and to make suggestions when we discussed curriculum materials. Young people of all ages often spoke during the sharing times held at the rise of meeting for worship. Many times we enjoyed games planned by young people for picnics and outings. In Alaska Friends Conference, teens participate in a wilderness outing during the week before yearly meeting. They report of their adventures with canoeing, camping, and hiking to the entire yearly meeting, including crafts and projects they have created. The teens at Baltimore Yearly Meeting are given considerable responsibilities. A teen will sit at the clerk’s table during business sessions and participate in the leadership of conducting business. One evening the teens organize games for the younger children. When we attended Southeastern Yearly Meeting, each of us was interviewed by a teen, who asked us, and each of the other adults being interviewed, searching questions about our activities, beliefs, and spiritual journey. A highlight of the final business session was a videotape made by the teens, which included a serious interview in the foreground while a teen rolled a giant ball in the background to keep things from getting too serious. Attending monthly and yearly meetings has been an exciting and rewarding adventure for us. We plan to continue the adventure in the future. | |
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Dear
Lucretia,
Dear Disappointed, Children are an integral part of the spiritual life of a meeting. I understand your frustration in not having enough teachers to serve and your disappointment in the meeting members for not wanting to be with the children. How does one rekindle a meeting’s interest in teaching its children? Mary Snyder, in Opening Doors to Quaker Worship, lists twelve queries on p. 13, which meetings have found helpful to them as they consider their response to and responsibility for children. I know of one meeting who read one query each month at their monthly meeting for worship for business. The responses were recorded in the monthly meeting minutes and a copy was shared with the children. Another delightful source that helps adults perceive how our Quaker beliefs are relevant to our lives with children is a Pendle Hill pamphlet by Harriet Heath titled Answering That of God in Our Children. Perhaps you could use the pamphlet during an adult discussion hour. Another longer discussion resource would be Opening Minds by Sue Collins. All these resources are available from the FGC bookstore (800-966-4556) and www.quakerbooks.org. Some specific ways to help your meeting come to know the children and make the First Day School program more visible might be:
Some specific ways that have been appreciated for supporting teachers are:
“If we want to rediscover human joy and wholeness and creativity . . . we cannot continue to isolate adults and children from each other. Children need to be present to us—and we to them.” — Elise Boulding, in One Small Plot of Heaven Thy Friend, Lucretia |
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| Support
for Young Activists
Teaching Tolerance and Tolerance.org have combined resources to produce a new network for youth activists and their allies across the country “who are seeking to bridge the boundaries that separate us in our daily lives,” according to an article in SPLC Report, the newsletter of the Southern Poverty Law Center. The network, launched in November of 2002, is called Mix It Up and it provides community project ideas, an online gathering place, lesson plans, and free resources to help young people explore and question the visible and invisible boundaries that separate people. A primary aim is to facilitate “a nationwide dialogue that crosses the lines of race, age, gender, income, ethnicity, language, ability, interests, and sexual orientation.” Check out their site at www.mixitup.org, as well as the parent site at www.tolerance.org. If you utilize the network, please don’t forget to also explore with youth the spiritual basis for our activism. You will probably want to give young Friends the opportunity to share their insights and experiences through worship sharing. Projects such as Mix It Up, combined with a study of Friends testmonies and what lay behind them, the biblical prophetic tradition, and the examples of faithful Friends over the years, could be a powerful and exciting supplement to your monthly, quarterly, or yearly meeting youth program. Note: You will also find resources for parents, teachers, and young children at the www.tolerance.org site. | |
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| The
Lost Son, or the Loving Father
BY MICHAEL GIBSON This is an untested lesson plan for adults which can be adapted for younger learners/sharers. Depending on the group and the allotted time, this may require two sessions. I. Begin with a brief period of expectant worship. II. Invite participants to tell from memory the parable of “The Lost (or Prodigal) Son/The Loving Father.” Participants may share one or two sentences at a time or one major episode at a time so that this is a group effort. III. Read Luke 15:11-32 together as a group followed by a brief general discussion and orientation (not to be labored).
IV. Move on to the topics for discussion below. The participants may divide into three groups or pairs, with each group or pair taking one part of the first discussion topic (“A.1,” “A.2,” or “A.3”) and then reporting back to the whole. Or the items may be looked at sequentially by the participants as a whole. Items “B” and “C” are for the whole group to explore together.
V. Have someone read Luke 15:11–32 once again, out loud and at a relaxed pace. Invite participants to listen contemplatively without analyzing details of the story. Contemplative listening can be defined as listening with attentiveness and receptivity to allow the Spirit to gently expand and shape one’s mind and heart through the vehicle of the text. Invite participants to reflect, and journal if desired, on how the parable speaks to their conditions. Responses may be individual or corporate. Out of this reflection time may come a poem, a prayer, a song, some artwork, a challenge to take some specific practical action, etc. VI. End with a period of silent worship. |
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| Queries
How have you experienced the holy in your life within the past 24 hours? Speaking from personal experience, what does "answering that of God in everyone" mean to you? What enables you to "walk cheerfully over the earth," particularly in periods of uncertainty and stress? |
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| Religious
Education Newsletter
Susanne Siverling and Michael Gibson, co-editors | |
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