Andrew Esser-HainesThe below is a part of a letter sent during my work in La Paz Bolivia, it references my experiences in an evangelical Quaker Church in the city of La Paz in which I was asked to share a personal testimonial in preparation to preach to the congregation.

Fourth month twenty fifth day two thousand and second year.

...As for this past Sunday and giving my testimonial in church there is much that I could say. What feels most present is to say that I felt like I was giving a performance (which is basically what I was asked to do). It was not giving a message, and I hope that when I do get the opportunity to serve as pastor it will be more spirit led. That said, it felt really good to share openly about my spiritual journey. I have found that one of the great things here is that I do not feel any need of being accepted and for that reason I feel much more comfortable going ahead and laying out ALL of my belief system, talking about Jesus and about social work, about following God and about interpreting scripture. I feel like most times in the US I hold back some pieces because I am worried of what people might think.

The best part of all is that in that space of complete opening more often then not I am accepted, I have not yet been rejected for my beliefs. It feels very empowering to share in front of a large group so openly, and I wonder where my place is to listen in these groups. I am not used to being the motivational speaker, though I am feeling pretty good at it. I have very little fear at this moment about speaking in front of groups, and I wonder how that will look differently in front of my home yearly meeting. It seems like it has become commonplace for me to find myself speaking in Spanish to a group of Friends from twenty people to 130.

After church I had lunch with the pastors and felt like I received a grilling of questions about my faith; all of which I felt very clear about the answers to. I shared some of my thoughts that I thought might be controversial, such as, thoughts about heaven and hell on earth rather than in the here after, and the idea that if one does not know the Christian God one also does not know sin (you can find that in the Bible). I shared about some of the contradictions that I have found in scripture and shared about my understanding of continuing revelation. I asked questions about pacifism and about social works. It felt like we were all thoughtful of one another and eager to hear new ideas from each other. I saw the glory of accepting the differences that we have as gifts rather than fighting points”¦