Quaker Love

It started out as a sort of a joke back in February at a YAF Quaker gathering in Burlington, New Jersey. I don’t even know how it came up.

“Don’t you wish there was something like ‘Quakermatch.com’ to meet your Quaker LOVE?”

A group of us were standing in the back during a long-winded talent night. We quietly slipped into the hallway and quickly developed a skit about the imagined fake dating site.

I only remember a couple lines and the essence of our 2.5 minutes of fame.

Liz Wine and Micah Bales introduce the “advertisement” for the new website.

Then, I enter. I am a lost, single Quaker female.

I say to a nearby Greg Woods: “Hey, you’re cute, what are you into?”

Greg: “Chicken and war!”

Me: (sad face) bye…

Then, more strangers in the night, and my trusty pick-up line, which I totally recommend: “Hey, you’re cute, what are you into?”

And more sad responses…like, “Nascar.” (No offense, racing fans.)

And then I wonder, Oh, what is a girl to do?

And THEN, there is Benjamin Zuses, kindly smiling, light eyes twinkling.

I try again, “Hey, you’re cute, what are you into?”

He unfolds his arms and in a deep voice says, “Oh you know, peace, going to meeting, and making my future partner so very happy.”

Awww….

The announcer then interrupts “Quakermatch.com where you can go to ‘Make New Friends.’”

Applause, applause. Thank you, thank you.

We asked for a show of hands of anyone who would actually visit such a site, and there was a sea swell.

From all my work in various branches of Friends, attending Quaker conferences and organizing World Gathering of Young Friends, it is the same all over. Most Quakers want to marry other Quakers. There is some hesitancy sometimes to say it, maybe some embarrassment or shyness, but it’s there. It is a thread throughout the Quaker world, and it makes perfect sense.

Living the Quakerly life, ideally sets out to be an all-encompassing lifestyle. It is often counter-cultural and requires discipline. Plus, let’s face it. We can be pretty darn strange.

To keep on the, uh…joke, I started a “group” on Facebook (www.facebook.com) called, of course, “Quakermatch.com.” I sent invitations to some of the Burlington folks, and then some of my other Quaker friends, and then the thing exploded. Close to 200 people joined in just a few weeks. And, what, there are only like a thousand of us still alive and under 70 anyway, right? I mean, that is a pretty high number!

My favorite “subject” on Quakermatch is some of the QUAKER PICK-UP LINES:

• I'll be your Margaret if you'll be my George.
• I want to hold you in the Light.
• Are all hearts free?
• Want some SPICE in your life?
• (and my favorite, Quakermatch’s slogan) “Come on, let’s Make New Friends!”

Because of the response, and also just the years of late nights in sleeping bags on meetinghouse floors around the world, talking with other YAFs, dreaming of who our future spouse who be, I posted something asking if anyone wanted to try to take it to the next level, and really, really make a Quaker dating site.

I got a few responses from kind, talented, busy web programmers who would love to take on the project, but lack of funding put everything on hold.

(And wealthy matchmaking Quakers out there who want to increase our numbers and overall happiness? Come on y’all, there must be some grant for this, somewhere!)

**Is it kind of being done already?**

A few ripples have gone around about a web site that already exists: http://www.quakersingles.org/

I am not a member, but it looks rather interesting. I know of an attractive, intelligent, YAF who is on there, though at press time, he is unavailable for comment.

So, I don’t know. Keep me posted. Be faithful, and take risks.

As for me, I am happy to report that I am in a wonderful relationship with an amazing man, who yes, is Quaker. After years of explaining to my dates about what Quakerism is, and having them respond like…yeah ,I think it’s cool or interesting, and maybe dutifully sit through worship with me, while I would explain before, after and maybe during what was going on…

It was so nice to sit there with my Quakermatch, his warm arm around me, Bible outstretched, kind Friends surrounding us, jointly seeking knowledge and Truth and praying and smiling and blessing and accepting this common Love.