During a long working career that including much travelling I visited many Friends meetings and churches. I am a member of an Evangelical Friends Church with a deep appreciation for waiting worship. Almost all of the Friends meetings I attended were small in number, and I was usually welcomed as a visitor. When I was treated with some suspicion, it was no more than I had experienced in a few evangelical churches I attended when there were no Friends within driving distance. The basic testimonies (absent any discussion of theology) of Friends seem to me to be relatively uniform among the meetings I have attended but the orders of worship are worlds apart and seem to be almost as difficult a barrier to intimate conversation as the differences in theology. That is unfortunate from my perspective because Friends of all stripes are usually folks that I would like to share good conversation with.

Thank you Faith, for both raising up the issues of mistrust between the branches of Quakers, and for calling attention to the wonderful upcoming gathering of Young Adult Friends. I have been anxious to see some of our newly YAFs (upgraded from YFs) as they come home for spring break, to encourage them to participate. I think the more opportunities we all have to build the 'new tales to tell' that you speak of, the better it will be for all of us.

I think that the more we interact, and the more we have the courage to raise the issues up to the Light as you have here, the better chance we have to truly hear each other. As a person who became a convinced Friend in the Philadelphia area, I can tell you that I was woefully ignorant of the vast array of Friends, and never even heard of Friends United Meeting until I moved here to Baltimore Yearly Meeting! Here I have had to challenge to learn to live wearing the two different shoes of FGC and FUM, since we are members of both. While uncomfortable at first, it has proven to help me stretch my understanding of Christianity and deepen my faith.

While I am still a liberal unprogrammed Friend, I have learned so much from corresponding and blogging with Friends across the country, and from the occasional encounter with visiting Friends, that I am looking forward to a time when I can travel more extensively among Friends of all traditions.

At BYMs interim meeting, Betsy Meyer spoke of feedback she had from people she spoke to on her recent visit to Earlham, that BYM's intervisitation program is proving successful in opening doors between Friends. I believe this to be true, as I watch the conversation deepen within our own yearly meeting, taking on a tone that is closer to worship than to criticism.

I look forward to hearing from young adult Friends after the gathering, hearing the stories of hope and growth.
Blessings,
Linda Wilk

Thank you for this article. The barriers that you find in Quakerism you will find all across the Christian spectrum with people brushing off another denomination because they think they've got them all figured out. We do that to individuals too, so I know that your quest will be rich in learning.

While I know Micah and Faith to be good people of great faith, i must confess that the experience of the first FGC-EFI-CONSERVATIVE gathering in Ohio was both enlightening and extremely disappointing. I recall that i recieved great comfort and great fellowship as I was trying to overcome past pain, but I also recall that there was (and based on reading conference guidelines) continues to be an over-emphasis on proper dress, proper speaking and... well just generally things more often relegated to guidelines for visiting a funeral.
I had one Friend comment to me that she would have not spoken to me if I had dressed the way i usually dress. It left me with a great sadness, but also a great hope. Because I now know that the burden is not upon me to conform but rather to listen, and if spat upon like that, walk away. And so, by not attending I am choosing to walk away from that experience, and not return. Before such an event occurs again I hope that Conservative and EFI Friends will do more within their own meetings to at least teach folks to be polite. The burden does not fall alone on FGC friends to "toe the line". Sometimes Christian friends need a reminder of what it means to be Christ-like, and not treat FGC folks like lepers.

I wish all who travel the greatest of joys but for my time, treasure and energy I do not feel it is worth the trip until all involved are able to plan a gathering that doesn't make me as an FGC friend feel like I am welcome only if docile and properly dressed. I write this in all prayerfulness so that those considering the trip might make a more fully informed decision.