Remarks on the Subject of Eldering
By Linda Chidsey

ho are the "elders" in your meeting? What is it about them that leads you to see them as such?

And what about the practice of eldering? Have you ever been eldered? What was that like? Have you ever eldered another?

Eldering is a word and a practice that has fallen into disuse and disfavor among many Friends today. Too often it conjures up times during the 19th century when Friends were being read out of meeting because the strings on their bonnets were too long, because they married out of their particular branch of the Society, or because they took an "unhealthy" interest in music.

In the beginning, the Quaker movement was fluid and there was no definite membership. There were fanatics and others of questionable personality claiming to be part of the group. It soon was recognized that individuals, well-grounded in the Truth and the Light, were needed to subdue the extravagances of the fanatics and to encourage the spiritually immature. Friends most qualified to take responsibility for the good order of the meeting were identified and recognized as elders.

Elders were the discerners of the Spirit, as well as of those things which were not of the Spirit. A Canadian Yearly Meeting Friend, Peter Wood, has written a pamphlet on eldering, and it in he speaks of elders as the "mothers and fathers of the tradition" - those Friends who sat on the facing bench and whose function it was to awaken and encourage the Inward Teacher in meeting members.

In time, a special concern of the elders became to advise those who would speak in meeting, that is, the vocal ministers. For many years elders and ministers were recorded or recognized in minutes of the meeting for business. This practice, with a few exceptions, has by and large fallen by the wayside among liberal, unprogrammed Friends. However the practice of recording still continues among the programmed and conservative strains of the Society today.

In the liberal unprogrammed meetings, most of the functions of the elders have been taken up by committees - ministry and counsel, worship and ministry, ministry and oversight, as they are variously called. These committees have the responsibility of oversight of the spiritual life of the meeting as well as pastoral care - responsibilities which were once separate.

Returning to the questions posed at the start of these remarks - who are the elders in your meeting? Are those Friends on your ministry and counsel the "real" elders in your meeting, or are they appointees who, for a time, fulfill a function regardless of predisposition, inclination, or call? Are they chosen for their gifts of discernment and spiritual nurture? How is the practice of eldering carried out?

Most would agree that the Religious Society of Friends has become secularized to a large degree, and that in many instances there is an almost fierce sense of individualism that prevails in our meetings. We are now more heterogeneous, and our boundaries have loosened. Within our meetings there may be Buddhists, agnostics, refugees from other traditions, even atheists - many with little knowledge of Friends' history or tradition.

This has real implications for our sense of community and gospel order. With loosened boundaries comes vague or nonexistent standards of conduct, as well as an ambivalent commitment to nurturing and holding one another accountable to both our faith and our practice.

So where does that leave us? It seems to me that in the individual and corporate spiritual life we can err in either of two directions (at least). We can tend toward the legalistic, with its discernment by outward rules as was prevalent among the elders in the 19th century; or we can tend toward an attitude of "anything goes" or "everything is worthy and therefore acceptable". It is this latter attitude that is often observed in many of our meetings today.

I believe there is great insight and wisdom in Peter Wood's characterization of the elder in his pamphlet. If the elders are indeed the mothers and fathers of the tradition, and we choose to dismiss or ignore them, then we become spiritual orphans.

Today the eldering function may occur in the context of the spiritual friendship, spiritual formation or accountability group, the gathering together for study or the practice of individual and corporate disciplines. We have also our corporate practices of clearness committees, committees of oversight and committees of care, as well as our ministry and counsel committees.

No matter the form, I believe it important, indeed critical, that we hold up, reexamine and honor the traditional role and function of the elder in our meetings; that we humbly (and wisely) identify and seek out those "weighty Friends" who are qualified and able to respond to our individual and corporate need for guidance, prayer and instruction.

Personally, I have been blessed by a number of Friends who have served, and continue to serve, as elders, advisors and guides to me. These Friends nurture and hold me accountable in such a way that I become more the person God would have me be. They teach me that authentic life in community is not about what I want to do, or what others think I should do. It's about what God would have us do as members of the Body.

In the best sense the elder is the one who awakens and encourages the Inward Teacher in each of us. Elders are those Friends who embody the wisdom born of experience and a life committed and devoted to God/to Christ/to the Divine and Holy Spirit. I think there is much to be gained by reexamining the role and function of elders. There is certainly much to be lost if we do not.

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