Photographs by Nancy Middleton's traveling companion/elder Mary Waddington.
hen Deborah Fisch asked if I would undertake this journey, I set aside a time for prayerful reflection and discernment in order to understand how spirit was leading me. I tested with others their sense of the rightness of accepting this invitation and when it became clear that my response could only be "yes," I began to hold in the Light of my prayers those I would be visiting. Interestingly, the topic most Friends meetings asked to have as the focus of presentations was discernment. Additionally, when Marianne Lockard greeted us at Little Rock airport on our arrival I knew instantly who she was. Thus began a pattern of immediate recognition for me of those who would weave together an eighteen day tapestry of shared spiritual experience. I am convinced that we began to know one another via the power of prayer and Light in the months which preceded our actual time together. Thus as Marianne Lockard was busy with the organizational planning for this undertaking, my time of prayerful attention to those with whom we would be worshipping and working was creating a framework for, what I believe to be, the successful accomplishment of this God given work. There is such wonder in being introduced to a Friend from another place and to have the heart say "of course -- I have known thee, Friend -- always." The memory of this universal Truth - the deep connection we have to one another and to the Oneness of all that is -- is so very sweet.
My home meeting, Putney Friends Meeting (VT), once again prepared a traveling minute to share as way of greeting those meetings visited. The minute was warmly endorsed and returned to Putney Friends along with a copy of this report for meeting records. Putney Meeting has also named a support and oversight committee to work with me as my involvement with FGC- TMP unfolds. Julia Forsythe, who traveled with me as traveling companion / elder to meetings in North and South Carolina in April 2000, sits on this committee along with Tom Hoskins and R. Schultz. These Friends, along with Putney
Meeting Friends collectively, have enfolded me in a nurturing covering of loving support throughout my experiences of TMP. For this I am very grateful.
Deb asked me to suggest the name of a traveling companion / elder for this trip and my heart immediately brought forth the name of Mary Waddington, Salem Friends Meeting (PYM) with whom I've had a deep spiritual fFriendship for many years (Read Mary's account of these travels: "Traveling in the Ministry--But Not on Horseback"). Mary responded with willingness and her usual clarity. Mary's presence on this trip was an extraordinary gift to me and those visited. Her work as a holistic health care practitioner was an incredible resource to Friends visited, as much of the work we encountered was pastoral care in nature. Mary's loving support of me was tangible. She continually held those visited and "the work" in a unified field of Light. We soon set aside any concern we had about our use of the plain language with one another. We found we were called to be authentic and our fear that our practice would separate us or seem confusing was unfounded. Mary traveled with the loving support of her meeting and an accompanying minute of travel. As a thirteenth generation Friend, still worshipping in the meeting of her forefathers and foremothers, Mary touched mid-American Friends with an integrity of spirituality rooted in a Quakerism with which few today are familiar.
Our hope that Mary's professional photographic skills might have a role in recording the visit did not fit appropriately within the context of the role of companion / elder. I was aware of the conflict posed by the practical needs of the photographer to observe from the peripheral -- as opposed to the need of the companion / elder to maintain a position at the heart of our engagement with Friends. I am clear that this additional responsibility should not be an expectation for those traveling in the program in the future. The responsibilities inherent to both the traveling minister and the companion / elder are too full of the need for focused attention to Spirit, and this additional responsibility becomes poorly served.
This was my third trip for the FGC - TMP and the second time in which a member of the community offering the invitation to travel has done the exceptional work of organizing the itinerary and agenda for time together. In this instance, Marianne Lockard did an exemplary job of creating a schedule which infused time for group gatherings, a weekend retreat joined by several meetings and large blocks of time and invitations for Friends to meet with us individually, often in their own homes. Marianne also planned the trip to include more extensive time with meeting communities, as opposed to my previous experiences of "one night stand" engagements. This allowed for a building of trust and an opportunity to go deeper into our discussions of matters of concern and to really come to know the beauty of the spirit of those we were visiting. Marianne had invited our hosts to take time to introduce us to points of interest in their own local communities. Thus, this was also the first TMP trip for me where I've come away with an expanded sense of the communities in which our meetings function.
I have been ever so grateful that Marianne included in our schedule a visit to Hominy Friends Meeting, a member of Nebraska YM - FUM - programmed. Marianne has been giving leadership in bringing together Friends, and especially women, from Nebraska Yearly Meeting, Mid-America Yearly Meeting and South Central Yearly Meeting in order to nurture the common ground of spirituality we share as Friends from various traditions.
Time with Hominy Friends made apparent the strength of our common commitment to life lived in Spirit. My most moving experience of this entire journey came when hearing prayer offered in Osage language as part of the special called meeting for worship at Hominy. In that moment, I felt a kinship with John Woolman's experience worshipping with Native American, Papunehang, in the 1760's without the aid of an interpreter. During that time together Papunehung said "I love to feel where Words come from"..... and I, too, was given the opportunity to be touched by the movement of God's grace in our midst, spoken via a vibration of love which needed no interpretation. Hominy Friends were most gracious in their welcome to us and my experience there reminds me of the work we must be about to bridge our differences of theology and to be responsive to the promptings of the heart which call us to a place of unity -- that place where Words come from.
Aspects of Marianne's planning which I encourage be a part of planning for longer future TMP trips are: more extended time with meetings, open blocks of time for individual consultations, the use of retreat settings to bring together several smaller area meetings and openness to visiting pastoral meetings -- where local relationships already exist. Each of these opportunities served the program well and enriched our experience.
Much of the time with Friends from Arkansas / Oklahoma Quarter was spent on pastoral care matters. Friends were eagerly open to scheduling individual time with us. These conversations often brought to the surface issues and matters of concern which are deeply troubling to Friends. There was a mix of issues that reflected on experiences of Friends within the Quaker community, as well as in their personal lives. It has become clear to me that our Friends communities need to be very attentive to those who struggle with painful personal matters. Not with the assumption of providing therapy -- but with a willingness to bear witness to what it is that they are experiencing and a willingness to provide a safe container of spiritual nurture within which these Friends are able to access the divine resource within themselves for movement through the problem with confidence in their own spiritual integrity.
Strengthening our meeting communities in ways which help them to meet these kinds of pastoral care challenges, seems to me to be vital work in which FGC can provide resources. I have always felt that when our meetings are strengthened from within, there is a natural movement forward -- toward harmony, unity and a sense of Oneness. This, in turn, fosters growth and service to the world beyond. FGC's Ministry and Nurture Committee is in the early stages of planning a small conference -- "Nurturing The Meeting Community." This conference opportunity will enhance Friends responsiveness to these delicate matters which are challenging to so many.
The collective experience I've had with TMP leads me to understand that we need to be thinking about an approach to a next stage of engagement with particularly vulnerable meetings. I am convinced that we have a responsibility to do follow up work in certain instances -- and perhaps even generally. This can happen to some degree through letter writing and contact with individuals after the visit has occurred. However, I have an inner prompting which suggests that, in order to have a successful strengthening of the Religious Society of Friends broadly, we really need to be attentive to supporting meetings for the long term.
As I reflect on my experience of travel among Friends in Arkansas and Oklahoma, I am deeply touched by the warmth and openness with which I was always greeted. Friends everywhere continue to inspire my own commitment to our beloved Religious Society of Friends. Their willingness to be open to vulnerable searching within the context of a spiritually nurturing environment always leaves me feeling the amazement of God's grace.
During a visit such as this, it has not been my intention to try to fix anything. Instead, it has been my hope that our conversations with Friends, individually and collectively, have provided opportunities for Friends to be in touch with their own inner resources. The intention I carry for this work is -- to be present, bearing witness to their experience of life and the divine, -- to listen without judgment -- to share with openness from my own experience -- and -- to share in the depth of silence where the Truth of our Oneness can be felt. This was a beautiful journey for me and, I believe, all of these things were accomplished. Thank you again for the invitation to be a part of this important program.
Nancy Middleton, P. O. Box 184, Grafton, VT 05146 member, Putney (VT) Friends Meeting
See also: Mary Waddington's account of these travels:
"Traveling in the Ministry--But Not on Horseback"
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