Notes For The Guidance of Speakers At Quaker Home Service Enquirers' Weekends
by Harvey Gillman, January 1995, Britain Yearly Meeting

Each year Quaker Home Service Outreach Section organizes three or four residential weekend enquirers gatherings. Two of these take place at Charney Manor and the other two are movable feasts. The geographical spread of these is such that over a number of years it will be possible for most enquirers to Britain Yearly Meeting to attend one of these gatherings. The Charney Manor invitations go out to all people who have enquired in the last two years from Western General Meeting through to Derby, Lines and Notts, to Kent and down to Devon and Cornwall. In some years, Devon and Cornish Friends organize their own gatherings.

Each of these gatherings may have up to 30 or so participants. Some of them will be entirely new to Quakerism and have, perhaps, simply read the enquirers packet. Some of them will not even have done this but would have heard about Quakers and are intrigued. Others will have attended meetings for 25 years or so and have just begun to think about membership. The range is anything between these two extremes. On the other hand, we do feel it is important to assume as speakers that most of the participants are new to the Society.

The programme takes the following pattern:

1. Friday evening after dinner we introduce ourselves and the general philosophy of the weekend is presented; that is, the seeking nature of the gathering, the listening to each other and the non-judgmentalism.

2. On Saturday morning, we start with what we call the foundations or basic convictions: this is a way of responding to the question, "Well, what do Quakers believe?" Sometimes some Friends introduce this in an historical manner, talking about development of Quakerism from early Friends, but not in an academic way which would be quite off-putting for some of the participants. Others may start with some readings from "Advices and Queries" and reflect on those with the group. It is very important to bear in mind that Quakers have a very wide jargon and that if jargon words or abbreviations were used, we might end by alienating the participants. If jargon or abbreviations are used it is important to explain them immediately. Some people wish to explore exactly what we mean by God and often ask for explanations of Quaker views on the Bible, Jesus Christ, sin, redemption and why we don't have sacraments, so any group leader needs to have thought about these issues. The introduction to the session lasts about half an hour, after which there is time for questions for about a quarter of an hour. We aim to split into groups as soon as possible, as over the years the comments and assessment forms have urged us to bring in more group work and fewer plenary conversations. We tend to split the gathering up into groups of three. Each of the gatherings will have experienced Friends leading them and so each Friend goes to one group; sometimes the Resident Friends will join in and help facilitate groups.

3. The second session in the morning is often on worship, both a Quaker understanding of what worship is all about and a personal exploration of what worship means to the speaker. It is important in any gathering for people not to take for granted the word "worship" and not to exclude the concept of prayer but possibly redefine it. The session on worship should contain very practical helps for participants; some will never have been to Meeting for Worship before: helpful tips on how to sit, breathe, etc. have been very useful in the past. The business meeting should also be referred to in the session on Meeting as very few of the participants will ever have been to a Meeting for Business. (I do not advise at this point that we look at the structure of the Society, although there could be a brief session on structure, if people want to have one.) After the session on Meeting for Worship we split up into groups until lunch time. The afternoon is free: this allows a lot of informal conversation to go on and one of the points about any weekend is that information is exchanged over the dinner table and during walks.

4. In the afternoon, after tea, there may follow a session on the Quaker Testimonies. It is important at this point to explain exactly what we mean by Testimonies, possibly to enumerate some of them to give people an idea of the diversity. I suggest that we do not plunge straight into a discussion of the Peace Testimony, but leave that to the end of the session, just before question time. The Peace Testimony can prove to be the most contentious aspect of the weekend and it is well for the group leader to have considered what the Peace Testimony means for him- or herself. It is not always helpful simply to quote George Fox in the middle of the 17th century as an example of the whole of the Peace Testimony today.

5. After dinner we have a look at the Philadelphia video or any other video which may be appropriate and have a short discussion group on that together. And then we may have some sort of social. Friends will have been encouraged to bring material for sharing in one of the letters they will have received before the conference. Many people do worry about having to be "jolly" during the weekend and it is very important to be sensitive in how the social evening is actually advertised and organized. We do ask one of the participants to be the person of ceremonies on this occasion.

6. Sunday morning we spend going to different Meetings and on the Saturday night we look at the different possibilities for Meeting for Worship and organize lifts and so forth.

7. After lunch on Sunday there is a session on "How was it for you at Meeting?" It ends with a general assessment about the weekend itself and how we can go on from here.

Friends do ask me, how is it possible in such a Society as ours to answer a question such as, "What do Quakers believe about God or sin or peace?" when there is obviously such a wide variety of response. I think it is very important to consider the whole range of responses that Friends make to these question. It is not altogether unusual that you will hear people saying, well, some Quakers believe this, some Quakers believe that and some believe the other. What I think is very important is to try to find an underlying pattern so that, for example, one might reply to "What do Quakers think about God?" by mentioning that Quakerism has always stressed an immediate relationship between the individual and that which we call God-force, Spirit, Christ, whatever. In other words, however we respond to this question, we can point to an underlying Quaker insight.

I do not think it is wrong if, having said all that, the individual Friend says, "I myself believe this particular thing." The session leader might bring other members of the Society into the discussion. And so, for example, he or she might say, "Well this is what I believe about God, but, X, how would you respond to that question? And Y, How might you respond?" In this way, we are not giving an abstract list of possibilities but are showing the real diversity of Friends.

It is important that the group leaders are warm, welcoming and not afraid to explore issues with the participants. No Friend is an expert but what we can do is to create an atmosphere which will allow the participants to open up and discover things for themselves. I do not think also that we should censor ourselves. If we are comfortable using Christian language I think it behooves us to use it, otherwise we are actually not being authentic to our own experience. By the same token, if we feel that Christian language is not appropriate for us, we should be honest enough to say so. This will give the enquirers real experience of the Society. Conviction and sensitivity are required.

I have also discovered that trust, openness and honesty in talking about the Peace Testimony has changed people who have come to the weekend expecting an almost creedal statement about pacifism. It is important for the group leaders to realize that they themselves are enquirers and might be changed by the experience also.

Questions on the foundation, or theology, of Friends might include:

"What do Quakers mean by God?"

"Do you think all people are good?"

"Why is Quakerism so middle-class?"

"Why don't many people know about Quakers?"

"What do Quakers think about Jesus?"

"Why don't Quakers have Holy Communion?"

"Can you be a Buddhist and a Quaker?"

"Do you have to be a Christian to be a Quaker?"

"Where do you stand on sin?"

Questions about worship might be:

"What do Quakers think about prayer?"

"Why don't you have music?"

"Can you sing in Meeting for Worship?"

"What do you do with thoughts that get in the way?"

"If you don't believe in a hierarchy, what do Elders do in Meeting for Worship?"

"What do you do with someone who interrupts Meeting for Worship every week, or now and again?"

"How, if Meeting for Worship is silent, do people ever learn anything about Quakers?"

Questions about Testimony might include:

"Do you have to be a pacifist to be a Quaker?"

"Why are so many Quakers left-wing?"

"What would you do if someone threatened your daughter?"

"Do you believe in the police force?"

"Why aren't all Quakers members of CND?"

"What part does simplicity have in Quakerism?"

"What are Quakers doing to make the world a better place?"

"Are there any Quaker MPs?"

"Can Quakers join political parties?"

"What do Quakers think about drugs, alcohol and cigarettes?" and so on.

I hope these guidelines will be helpful. The fact remains that sincerity, conviction, and warmth are the basic ingredients.

- Harvey Gillman

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