Report of a Visitation Preparation Weekend
Sponsored by New York Yearly Meeting Ministry and Counsel
God knows how continually I make mention of you in my prayers, and am always asking that by his will I may, somehow or other, succeed at long last in coming to visit you. For I long to see you; I want to bring you some spiritual gift to make you strong; or rather, I want to be among you to be myself encouraged by your faith as well as you by mine.
— Rom‑ans 1: 9–12
The fruits of visitation are manifold, but perhaps the most impressive of all is the mutual encouragement of both the visited and the visitor. Personal contact and relationship lie at the heart of religious community. The more contact, the more possibilities for deepening relationships and hence, building up the fellowship.
The Religious Society of Friends depends, perhaps more than most other religious bodies, on visitation, simply because there is no hierarchy or powerful structure which will keep things running. It all depends on the individual members to see that the vitality of the Society continues.
A Friend who wishes to make a visit should consider the following: Am I the right person to visit? Is there a specific concern that I am led to bring to this group of Friends? It is important to be led by the Spirit in our visits. Some individuals might find that they are specifically led not to visit, and they should be sensitive to such a leading. However, Friends should not let fear or timidity keep us from such a meaningful task as visiting among Friends. When we see visitation as a mutual sharing of faith and life, then we are less prone to think of ourselves as not fit to visit. There is much to be gained as well as to share, and we will be given what we need by the Spirit. In its simplest form, a visit is a sharing of personal and religious experience in a mutual relationship. If we think of the Realm of God as being primarily God’s responsibility, then we can relax in the knowledge that we shall be effective visitors.
WHERE AND WHEN TO VISIT
The list of types of visits breaks down into a sort of continuum, with two distinct types of visits on either end. On one end of the continuum is the visit which is by specific invitation to come and be a listener or problem-solver. A Meeting that senses a need for someone to come in from the outside to provide specific ministry will make that clear in the invitation. This type of visit carries with it the responsibility to be extremely sensitive to the Spirit. The details of the visit will come from the inviting Meeting, and one will want to tailor the visit to the needs expressed in the invitation.
On the other end of the continuum is the “drop-in” visit, where one feels a desire to get acquainted with others and simply comes to another Meeting, usually for a Sunday morning Meeting for Worship. Although it is good to make arrangements, if possible, the drop-in type of visit is the most informal and does not really require any advance notice.
Our understanding of the impetus for this Visitation Preparation weekend was to develop a systematic approach to visitation in the Yearly Meeting. We had in mind visits which fall between the two ends of the continuum. Namely, we were concerned with visitations which would be over a two or three day period of time, and would involve meeting for worship and visits in homes. We were interested in strengthening connections between Meetings and individuals. Such visits may not
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come by specific invitation, and then the question of how to arrange for the visits comes up. We need to be sensitive at this point because, on the one hand we do not want to impose on Meetings’ hospitality, while on the other hand we do see the importance of visitation for the life of the Yearly Meeting. Dependence on the leading of the Spirit will make matters simpler.
If we know someone in the Meeting we wish to visit, it would be helpful to explore with that person the feasibility of the visit. What kind of schedule does the Meeting have, how busy are members, would the Meeting welcome a visit, etc.? No one individual can speak for the Meeting, of course, but an informal exploration will give some clues to the success of a visit. Early on in the process of sounding out a Meeting on the possibility of a visit, it would be good to check with the Clerk. This is not only simple protocol; it recognizes the integrity of Friends’ delegating certain responsibilities to its members.
Once one has found that a visit would be welcomed, there are arrangements which need to be made. Throughout our weekend we stressed the importance of good preparation for a visit. What are some of these arrangements?
ADVANCE ARRANGEMENTS
We agreed that arrangements should be kept as simple as possible. Some of the very obvious things we identified were:
• clear travel directions
• contact person’s address and phone number
• schedule to be followed during visit
• names of hosts so we can confirm ahead of time with them that we plan to stay with them
• any advance information about the Meeting which would be helpful to know; perhaps some copies of newsletters
• are there specific things that the visitor can do?
• are there persons who would enjoy personal visits, i.e., shut-ins, those in hospitals, etc.?
It might be helpful if one’s own Meeting were to give a traveling minute to the visitor. Thus the Meeting which is visited can endorse the minute, and express any comments about the visit. When a person travels under endorsement of her/his Meeting there is an explicit reaching out on the part of that Meeting to make contact with the ones being visited.
If the visit is carried out by a team rather than an individual, it would be appropriate for the Ministry & Counsel or Advancement Committee to give a letter of endorsement.
INDIVIDUAL OR TEAM VISITS?
Individuals are encouraged to visit as they are led, and such visits need not necessarily come under the Ministry & Counsel or Advancement Committee’s program. On occasions individuals might be “sent out” by Ministry & Counsel or Advancement to do specific tasks requested by Meetings.
Team visits could be either by specific invitation of Meetings or when there is an apparent need for a visit which will be explored by Ministry & Council or Advancement Committee to generate an invitation. Team visits seem to lie at the heart of an active Ministry & Council program of visitation.
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A team should not be larger than three Friends. Too large a team could be overwhelming to the Meeting being visited.
The wisdom of team visits goes all the way back to the New Testament, when Jesus sent his disciples out in two’s or when the apostles traveled in pairs. Friends, throughout our history, have made visits in teams. When we think of traveling Friends, such as John Woolman or Elias Hicks, we often forget that they frequently had traveling companions.
Having for some time past felt a sympathizing in my mind with Friends eastward, I opened my concern in our Monthly Meeting, and obtaining a certificate, set forward 17th day, 4th month, 1760, joining in company by a previous agreement with my beloved friend Samuel Eastburn.
-— John Woolman in his Journal
As soon as New York Yearly
Meeting ended—the last held on Long Island—Elias crossed to the
mainland. Here he met James Mott of Mamaroneck, member of a family devoted
to him, and Hugh Judge of New Rochelle, from now on a constant
correspondent. The three Friends reached
— Elias Hicks by Bliss Forbush, p. 84
Teams could be made up of persons from the same Meeting or from different Meetings. There are advantages in either system. If a team comes from the same Meeting the persons will likely be familiar with each other and be able to get together after the visit to reflect together on its effectiveness. If a team comes from different Meetings then the benefits of a visit will be spread out as the visitors return to their respective Meetings.
GUIDELINES FOR VISITATION
• obtain an invitation
• get an endorsement from your local Meeting
• go with a listening, prayerful attitude
• be responsive to what the Meeting needs
• have a supportive, loving spirit
• expect to learn
• get background (as much as possible)
• get different points of view
• allow for time by oneself
• follow leading of the Spirit—THIS IS CENTRAL
• consider a team visitation
• be sensitive to the leadership in Meeting
• have a sense of humor
This list is not exhaustive, only suggestive of areas in which we should be sensitive as visitors.
VISITATION AND MINISTRY
One of the words which
Friends use often is “ministry,” and by that word we include the concept that
each Friend is a minister, with gifts and callings which are tailor-made by the
Spirit to suit
the individual. Our various ministries blend together to keep the Society of
Friends vital. It is not
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presumptuous, therefore, for us to consider visitation as a valid ministry among Friends. There are areas in the Yearly Meeting which desperately need ministry, especially in the way of encouragement and revitalization. As Friends are led by the Spirit to visit and share their gifts, we shall see renewal of both faith and witness throughout the Yearly Meeting.
