Workshop: Meeting Problem-Solving Process
"We need to be able to look at conflict as positive."
by Jan Greene, New York Yearly Meeting

IMPORTANT GUIDELINES

a. A meeting which decides to do this workshop must agree to complete the process, which will take about 6 hours, in one day. Do not try to break the workshop into two or three sections on differing days.

b. All participants must be present from the beginning of the process.

c. It is helpful to remind participants that powerful conflict norms will be broken during the workshop, and tension will increase until Step 8 is reached.

WORKSHOP

Begin the workshop by reading aloud "Confrontation" by Bruce Bishop, followed by silent worship.

1. Whole Group: Introductions and Community Building In a Go-around.

Share your name and briefly share how you came to this Meeting.

The leader will need to stress "briefly," and remind Friends who want to share at length.

2. Whole Group: In a Go-around.

Without discussion, each person share a strength and a struggle in her or his relation to the Meeting community. List answers on a piece of newsprint that has been divided horizontally, with headings 'Strength' and 'Struggle.' Place newsprint on the wall.

The leader may need to remind attenders that what is a strength for one person may be a struggle for another, and that this is acceptable.

3. Small Groups:

Each person shares her or his personal history in dealing with conflict. "What is your usual response to conflict? How well does this work to resolve conflict? Do you view conflict as positive or negative?"

4. Small Groups:

After an introduction to "conflict norms" and "sanctions" by the leader, consider, "What are the Meeting's norms (unwritten rules) about conflict? What are the sanctions (consequences) that are brought to bear for noncompliance? Which ones are helpful to conflict management and which ones are not helpful?" (List these on newsprint.)

Leaders: In introducing this activity, it is helpful to define conflict norms and sanctions, and to give an example that you have experienced. One common response of F/friends is to state that their meeting has none. If this happens, ask what would happen if the meeting clerk and clerk of ministry and counsel had a fist fight over a disagreement in meeting. How would Friends respond? Very quickly, one norm and sanction will be identified. (See: Sense of the Meeting, Sense of the Parking Lot for more information.)

5. Whole Group:

Report lists from small groups. When finished, consider: "Which non-helpful norms in this Meeting should be changed immediately? What should the new norms be? What should the sanctions for noncompliance be?" List on newsprint.

6. Small Groups:

"What is being said outside of meetings about the conflict in this Meeting? What are you afraid to say in meetings? Who, if anyone, is interrupted? Who, if anyone, is silenced? Whose, if anyone's, ideas are passed over?"

7. Whole Group: In a Go-around, without discussion:

"Looking at this situation, how would you define the conflict in terms of your needs and your desired results?"

Leaders should be aware that stress levels are high at this point, and unconscious resistance may appear at this time in the form of one or more individuals wanting to talk at great length or wanting to discuss others' responses. Be firm about sharing time and about no discussions.

8. Whole Group:

Brainstorm solutions. List on newsprint. Afterwards, look for common themes and interests. Ask the group to decide, "Are there one or more that we would like to recommend to meeting for business?"

9. Whole Group:

"Are there any other next steps that should be taken?"

10. Whole Group: Closing and Community Building: In a Go-around:

"Share one thing that you treasure/value about this Meeting."

End the workshop with a time of silent worship.

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