Friends believe there is that of God in each person. Early Friends assumed that this divine principle, this Christ Within, would teach and guide us. How might this work today? I am reminded of the metaphor used by Quentin Quereau, clerk of Cleveland Meeting's Ministry and Oversight Committee. He suggested we look at the whole world as a huge Montessori classroom. In such a classroom, all the equipment and materials are carefully constructed so that as the child manipulates them, if it is done correctly, the child will learn a lesson. So it is with the world. But some of us just play randomly with the equipment. Some even destroy it. Others master one piece and repeat it over and over and over again. But some students move from piece to piece, learning what is there for the learning. In the world, all the equipment is designed to reinforce two basic lessons: God is in charge, and love is the way it works. If we consider our meeting, our family, or our work situation as such a classroom, then might it be that our real business is to learn how to love each other and how to enable each other's gifts to be identified and rightly used? When there are undercurrents of discontent, when people notice all is not well, that things could be better, there is room for God's Spirit to move, teach, and perhaps even transform us.
If we want to take this seriously, I would like to suggest the following homework assignment:
The first step is to immediately begin to pray for each other, especially those who annoy you the most. "God, give her what she needs." As soon as you are able, you can enlarge it to ". . . what she needs to be whole, healed inside and out, joyful . . ." and so on. Notice, one does not presume to tell God what is wrong with this person! One can also begin to use this prayer on oneself, and on the ones one loves the most. The important thing is to use this prayer (or something similar) each time a person floats into one's consciousness trailing negative thoughts with her.
The crucial second step is the personal, inner work each of us must do: why does this person, this issue, push my buttons? Why am I so upset? What is the root cause IN ME? Why do I feel the need to be needed, or loved, or in control, or right, in order to justify myself? What is God's response to this? What is the Light showing me about myself? Is it desire to control? Fear of unQuakerly stuff creeping in (and I want to define what is Quakerly)? Past history having to do with issues of lack of love, security, or power? What is going on IN ME? Each person needs to ask the Light to help him or her see what is really going on, internally. I have found it very helpful to ask a small group (2 or 3, perhaps) of those with whom I feel comfortable, to meet together and say out loud what I have discovered these issues are for me-to name them. This is very scary stuff, which is why I recommend it be done in very small groups with people you trust. There is a power to naming these fears that helps shrink them. God is waiting to meet us where we are, help us with these burdens, and shower us with unconditional love. Ask!
It is helpful to remember, in a stressful situation, that God is present, here, now. A powerful tool in a situation of confrontation or anger or merely annoyance is to imagine yourself with God's loving arm around you. Then picture God's other arm drawing in the other person and holding you both in a loving embrace. When we are aware of the reality that God is holding both of us and the person/s who are annoying us, together, everything changes. Try it! Experiment. See what happens when you remember the reality of God being right here, now.
As we practice turning our attention to God, as we remember that God is actively present all the time, as our intention becomes more and more clearly focused on God, we become increasingly able to hear God's voice. Our longing to devote ourselves to God, to be in God's loving presence, to respond to the unconditional love God graciously pours out on us, makes us want to change from the inside out. We want to become more loving, more teachable, more in tune with God's will for us. We long to be less willful, less arrogant, less self-righteous, less fearful, less obsessed with ourselves. We will find the gift of discernment enlarging, so that our knowing what God wants for us in a specific instance becomes clear. And, as early Friends discovered, Christ will also give us the power to follow God's lead in that moment.
These articles are from Resources
for Fostering Vital Friends Meetings
See also: the FGC Quaker Library
