A Vision for Intergenerational and Interfaith Dialogue as a Tool for Healing
By Emily Stewart and Erin McDougall
Photograph by Mike GorenIn February of this year over a hundred young adult Friends attended a conference in Burlington, New Jersey sponsored by Friends General Conference, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting, and Pendle Hill. Focused on building sustainable communities among Friends, the weekend was an incredibly powerful experience for many of those present. Friends had deeply spiritual personal experiences and participated in some of the most earth-shaking corporate worship many had ever experienced.
We, Erin and Emily, also came away from the weekend with a more cohesive idea of our individual and personal leadings for work among Friends. As two young adults who are deeply immersed in the Quaker world, we hear considerable conversation surrounding two major conflicts that younger Friends are wrestling with today: intergenerational community, or the lack thereof, and a need for more interfaith work among different branches of Quakerism (including Friends affiliated with Evangelical Friends International, Friends United Meeting, Friends General Conference and Conservative yearly meetings). After the Burlington conference, we are now better able to articulate how these two conflicts are related and how they interact with one another within the world of young adult Friends. It has been a delight and joy for us to discover that we share similar understandings and visions not only with each other, but with other Friends as well.
That vision is rooted in an understanding of all branches of the Society as part of the Quaker family, and it includes four major areas of possible work and growth in the diverse world of Friends: 1) engaging in dialogue about the meaning of Quakerism in our lives; 2) creating opportunities for genuine connections; 3) educating on the history and present state of Quakerism; 4) understanding elders and eldering, and recognizing gifts of ministry. We experienced the first two of these at the conference, but we consider the last two to be as of yet unmet needs among Friends, particularly young adult Friends. We recognize that this is not everyone's experience, but it has been a perspective that we've encountered time and again among Friends young and old.
Younger Friends hold an important and unique place within the Quaker world. Not only can we bring new energy to the Society, but when we come together for gatherings based on our shared experiences and similar life stages we are able to bridge the divides of Quakerism and build relationships with each other across theological differences. At the conference, many Friends voiced the desire to bring Quakers into a sense of wholeness in their diversity. Throughout the weekend, it became clear that it is only through a spirit of vulnerability and openness that we will be able to bridge the theological divides between us. By naming the brokenness and standing in discomfort, in speaking our Truth with love, we can walk closer and closer to God.
Photograph by Seth BarchFriends young and old can begin to do this by creating opportunities to talk about what Quakerism means to each of us. In one discussion group at the conference, we explored the stereotypes about Friends from EFI, FUM, FGC and Conservative traditions. In the whole group session, some Friends spoke about feeling excluded from Quakerism because they didn’t read the Bible, while others shared their experiences of being attacked by other Quakers because they shared their relationship with Christ. We found that by listening with open and loving hearts, and trusting God to lead the conversation, the beginning of the healing process could start for us both corporately, as a group gathered at the conference, and as individuals.
At Burlington, one of the ways we built such a safe space for intimate sharing was by finding ways to build genuine connections outside of deep conversations. Part of the reason we could listen and share so deeply with each other was because we were interacting on many different levels. We played games and made music together, worshipped and took walks, threw snowballs and sang. We shared our gifts and talents through performance and our passions through common interest groups about service, activism, diversity and spiritual callings. We cooked, cleaned, laughed and cried together. Wider communities of Friends must find similar means of fellowship. Monthly meetings can begin by organizing opportunities for Friends of all ages to engage in intergenerational activities. By connecting in a variety of ways, it will be easier to engage in difficult dialogue.
Photograph by Lauren BaumannAlso integral to the creation of a healthy future for Quakerism is a solid grounding in the history of the Religious Society of Friends. Over the course of the weekend in New Jersey, we heard many Friends lamenting the lack of information they had about our Quaker heritage. Friends realized that it would be much more difficult to find our way forward as a Society if we did not have a firm understanding of where we are coming from. This is not to say that we need to believe the same things that early Friends did, but rather that we need to be knowledgeable about the roots of Quakerism in order to move forward in wholeness today. One way of learning about the history of Quakers is by taking advantage of the resources that are available to us in Quaker centers, colleges and bookstores. In order for Friends to take advantage of these opportunities, funding must be made available to support these explorations, particularly for younger Friends who often lack extra income. Intervisitation between yearly and monthly meetings must become more commonplace for all generations so we can explore our differences and share our best practices.
By building relationships through intentional dialogue, play, worship, visitation, service, etc., we will begin to know each other on a deeper level, across generations and theologies. This deeper level of knowing our spiritual community will enable us to see each other’s gifts of ministry and give us, as a community, opportunities to name them.
Young Friends are the present of Quakerism as well as the future, and we yearn for ways to become more involved, to be more supported, to be more connected to the entire Quaker community. Younger Friends have unique perspectives and gifts and to bring to wider bodies in Quakerism. Many younger Friends can see the brokenness within our Society, but often don’t feel the support to speak up about it. We, Emily and Erin, have heard younger Friends give voice to feelings of inadequacy, or feelings that they are not “Quaker enough” to express their concerns. Without support, younger Friends often stand in the background, feeling unappreciated and mourning their “inability” to participate in powerful ways within Quakerism. There are also many younger Friends seeking guidance from older Friends who can teach them, help them season their leadings, and possibly identify gifts of Ministry. In order for younger Friends to use their gifts to the greatest potential, we need to be more supported and more connected to the entire Quaker community. We need accompaniment and loving and listening hearts to be willing to engage with us in the work that must be done.
These four areas of work are certainly not the only things that should or could be done to help the state of the Religious Society of Friends today. However, we believe that if we engage in building deeper connections through play as well as worship we will form meaningful relationships with one another. Through that deeper knowing, Friends will naturally begin to elder and support one another, and we will create opportunities to name gifts of ministry for those we are close to. In that space of knowing, we will begin to love each other for our differences as well as our commonalities. Grounded in history and engaged with the present, open and vulnerable to the Divine within each other and ourselves, we will walk closer and closer to God and build the future of Quakerism together.
Emily Stewart grew up in North Carolina where she attended the Carolina Friends School and worshipped at Durham Friends Meeting. After college and a year at Pendle Hill as a Social Action/Social Witness intern, she now works at FGC as the Youth Ministries Coordinator (www.fgcquaker.org/youth). Erin McDougall grew up in and around Vancouver, Canada and was an attender at Victoria Monthly Meeting before moving to Pendle Hill in Wallingford, PA to be a student and participant in the Young Adult Leadership Development in 2006. She is now completing a Masters of Divinity at Earlham School of Religion in Richmond, Indiana.
