Young Friends:
FGConnections Winter 2006

Youth Ministries—FGC Program, then Movement?

By Karen Stewart

Youth Ministries Consultation was held at Camp Onas, PA in March 2005. Photograph by Bruce Birchard.

If the hopes and dreams of the Youth Ministries Program come true, Quaker historians in 50 years will be looking back at this time and trying to understand the forces that changed the face of Quakerism. I hope they will see the convergence of several forces into a groundswell of enthusiasm that enlivened and enriched our faith community and enabled us to better reach out to serve the wider world. The Ad Hoc Youth Ministries Committee envisioned a truly intergenerational diverse faith community where the voices of young and old of all races, ethnicities, and sexual orientation are heard, where the gifts of each are well used, and where support to really live our faith into action flows freely between and among Friends of all ages. The committee envisioned this because we experienced it briefly during a weekend consultation in rural Pennsylvania almost a year ago.

The seeds for the consultation were planted in the Friends General Conference long term plan 2004–2009, approved by Central Committee in the fall of 2003. Each FGC program committee had included goals for increasing the participation of high school and young adult Friends. The clerks of the program committees felt the weight of the concern. Over the course of 2004 they recognized the need for a more in-depth understanding of the needs of young Friends.

In 2004, Central Committee approved an Ad Hoc Youth Ministries Committee (AHYMC) charged with assessing the needs of high school and adult young Friends and offering recommendations to Central Committee in 2005. The Ad Hoc Committee was clerked by Robin Greenler of Northern Yearly Meeting. Representatives of each FGC program committee, several high school and young adult Friends, Bruce Birchard (general secretary) and Marian Beane (clerk of Central Committee) were invited to serve on the committee. I was privileged to serve as a very part-time staff person for the work.

The AHYMC immediately set about planning a consultation to bring together a group of Friends of all ages to deeply listen to the needs of young Friends and to begin to discern how best to move forward. From many qualified and interested high school and young adult Friends, fifteen were invited to attend. These Friends represented the widest possible diversity (geographic, ethnic, racial and sexual orientation) that we could achieve. Surveys were sent to interested young Friends who were not attending to obtain their input in writing about needs and priorities.

Martin Kelley and Zachary Moon at the Youth Ministries Consultation. Photograph by Bruce Birchard.

In March of 2005, thirty Friends spanning five decades in age met for a consultation at a rustic setting in rural Pennsylvania. It was cold and there was a bit of snow on the ground, but the mood was warm and full of light. Friends came from all over the country, representing big city meetings, small rural meetings and a wide range of Quaker experience. Most had grown up as Quakers, but a number had come to Friends in their teens or twenties. Two-thirds of the group were high school or young adult Friends and one-third was over 35.

We hoped to begin to answer the questions: What do young Friends need? How are we led to move forward? Initially we focused on the desire for well organized and adequately supported opportunities for connection among young Friends of similar ages. As trust grew Friends felt safe to be vulnerable and to share in a very personal way. What emerged was a deeply felt need on the part of young Friends to feel recognized and welcomed as a part of the wider community of Friends. Older Friends resonated with that feeling and we realized that Friends of all ages need and want the same things:

• To feel loved and valued as individuals

• To be seen as we really are without assumptions based on age, ethnicity, race or sexual orientation

• To have our gifts recognized and well used

• To receive eldering and to be available to elder others

• To be held accountable for living our faith

Painful experiences were shared. All too often our young Friends have felt ignored by their meetings, marginalized or slotted into child care responsibilities. We learned that we have lost many of our young adult Friends to other religions where they were enthusiastically welcomed, valued and well used. We learned of powerful ministries that exist in spite of the lack of support from the wider community of Friends.

We recognized that co-existing with the growing concern within Friends General Conference about youth there is a powerful group of young adult Friends who are living and sharing their faith journeys and who have been in dialog about these issues for years. Many of these young adult Friends remain ready to engage in spite of past pain, frustration and disappointment. We recognized that we will have bridges to build with many communities in order to be truly effective in this work.

Older Friends often talk about wanting to tap the passion and enthusiasm of young Friends but look to older Friends for their experience and wisdom. We want to lift up that young Friends have important experiences and knowledge that are simply not available to older Friends. Each generation grows up in a different world and if we want to be relevant to people of all ages, we need to understand the differences as well as the similarities. As a small example most of us over 50 will probably never master text messaging, while many high school students can text message with their cell phones in their pockets! What different experiences we have to share with each other! How exciting it is to get a glimpse into each others’ world. Friends of all ages have passion, enthusiasm, valuable knowledge and experience; wisdom comes when we work together in the Spirit.

Members of Youth Ministries Committee at work and play. Photographs by Emily Stewart.

Those of us over 35 acknowledged that we have benefited from the eldering of youth. I experienced real joy when I heard that these youth valued and wanted eldering/mentoring from older Friends. I grew up in the sixties rebelling against the older generation, and I assumed that the phrase “never trust anyone over 30” still applied. I had held onto this stereotype despite numerous experiences to the contrary. I finally realized that our youth want to work with us; they do not feel the division I felt. There really is no “us” and “them,” just an us.

Friends at the consultation fantasized about going out in groups to meetings around the country to share and facilitate the kind of experience we had. We drew up lists of ways to help meetings get to know and fully integrate young Friends into their meeting community. We learned of young Friends being faithful to powerful leadings and ministries. We recognized that our young Friends make some of the most important decisions of their lives often without being aware of the possibility of calling on their meeting for support in the form of clearness committees. Older Friends acknowledged that they valued F/friendships with younger Friends.

Along with building an intergenerational community, we also recognized how important it is for all Friends to be with their peers. The group hoped that FGC would be able to support ways for young Friends to connect with peers in regional gatherings, over the internet and in other ways. High school Friends lamented the sparsity of adults who have been trained in working with youth and that often the most helpful adults burn out quickly. We recognized the need to provide connections and support for youth workers.

The AHYMC met after the consultation and drew up a proposal for a standing Youth Ministries Program Committee within FGC. Central Committee greeted this proposal with enthusiasm and approved the formation of a Youth Ministries Committee. Robin Greenler was asked to continue as clerk, Maia Carter Hallward was appointed assistant clerk and members of Central Committee joined the committee. In December my daughter Emily was hired to serve as interim part-time staff for the committee for 2006. While I am no longer a part of the committee, I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to have been a part of the experience of launching this new program. The committee is in the process of planning its first meeting in February.

There is much work to be done and it may be difficult for many Friends to be patient with the pace of our mostly volunteer organizations. Many Friends have not been able to participate in this work and are eager to be involved. I am sure it will feel frustrating not to be able to leap into the work. However, if Friends continue to be faithful to the leading of the Spirit the work is sure to continue to flourish.

Friends General Conference provides a broad and deep foundation for the work. The Traveling Ministries Program is ready to offer guidance and support for young Friends with ministries. The Committee for Ministry on Racism is working hard to build a more diverse and inclusive community. The Advancement and Outreach Committee has recently launched an exciting “outreach and inreach” initiative that is right in step with youth ministry efforts. Religious Education and Ministry and Nurture Committees continue to take up aspects of this work as well. The anthology Whispers of Faith: Young Friends Share Their Experiences of Quakerism was published by Quaker Press of FGC and Quaker Books of London to lift up the writing of young Friends all over the world.

Everywhere this new initiative is discussed it is greeted with enthusiasm! The AHYM Committee hosted an interest group at the 2005 Gathering and over 50 people participated. Though the time was limited, the same life-giving sense of connection between generations burst forth. There is power in this work, power we believe that could change the face of Quakerism and spread to the wider community.

Several times over the year the word “fire” has been used to capture the power of the vision. Fire transforms diverse raw materials into light and heat. Light is always welcome, but if these changes are to come to fruition it will not be without some pain, disappointment and frustration. I am sure that our communities will heat up with an infusion of new and different ways of interacting. I believe the potential light and heat of this program or movement has the capacity to transform us into a truly intergenerational, diverse faith community and an even stronger healing force. Much healing is needed—in our personal lives, in our meetings, in our communities, in our country and in this very troubled and beautiful world. Let’s give future Quaker historians something to write about!

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