Top photograph: Cuddle puddle—one of the most popular group activities. Bottom: Claire Reddy, Mike Kellum, Maria, Asa Borne, Stephanie, Althea, Will Alsup, or Erica serve up spaghetti for dinner. Photographs by Kri Anderson.

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s a teen growing up in Bucks County, PA, outside of Philadelphia, I was accustomed to finding Friends meetinghouses in many of the small towns nearby, and thought nothing of the abundance of Quaker schools in the area. I took it for granted that there was a group of 60-80 high school aged peers that got together once every few months for a weekend-long retreat. I remember the moment of opening up a Philadelphia Yearly Meeting envelope to find the list of names of kids I would see at the next retreat, eagerly anticipating these reunions after what felt like such a long time apart. These retreats were staffed by dedicated, consistent, experienced elders and attracted presenters on all manner of subjects relevant to my burgeoning awareness of the world and my place in it. I assumed every Quaker kid had the same experience of having strong programming and a local community of peers with whom to play and learn and find support through difficult times.

It was not until I sat in the fireplace room of Ann Arbor Friends Meeting (MI) some ten years later with six or seven teens planning their next retreat, my first with the group, that it began to sink in. I remember taking minutes for the meeting, observing the process. I grew uncomfortable at the looseness with which the schedule was being planned. “Oh, we’ll probably get together around 7, and then we might have a meeting, or maybe see a movie, or something.” I asked if we might not want to tighten things up, so that it was clearer and more organized, knowing how important this is when dealing with a large group of people. The kids maintained that all of their retreats were like this, and that it worked just fine, thank you. Finally, I asked how many kids we were expecting to attract to this retreat. There was a pause, during which time they looked around the room at each other, and then replied, “everyone in this room, and then maybe a couple more.” Less than ten kids! I was floored. Nor could they fathom what I had come to expect.

Little did I know how common this second scenario is in many yearly meetings. The fact that Ann Arbor Friends Meeting in fact has that many teens is a rarity among meetings, particularly in the midwest. It is far more often the case that smaller meetings have only one teen at any given time, and this teen rapidly loses interest when faced with the challenge of growing up Quaker without a peer community.

Adolescence isn’t easy for anyone, especially in today’s times, but it presents unique obstacles to kids who find themselves out of step with the majority of their peers in the areas of values and beliefs. Having a community of peers serves the same purpose for them as it does for adults: an opportunity to connect, rejuvenate, and nourish oneself; to ground oneself in the Spirit, and find the strength to go back out and fight the good fight. Additionally, because of where our young Friends are developmentally, it meets a critical need: a safe place to learn about themselves and their opinions, to test out theories and make mistakes. Lastly, these events provide opportunities for young Friends to explore and deepen their relationship to the Religious Society of Friends, and claim their rightful place in it.

It is crucial, particularly for teens from smaller and isolated meetings, that Friends General Conference enhance and expand the number of opportunities for this community experience. It is likewise vital that FGC and its volunteers get information out to monthly and yearly meetings about the various opportunities available. Additionally, these monthly and yearly meetings need not only to set aside funds to enable their young Friends to travel to these events, but also encourage them to do so. It is only by shouldering this responsibility as a community that we will ensure our future as a Society.

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Kri Anderson, MSW, a member of Ann Arbor (MI) Friends Meeting, is the Teen Programming coordinator for Lake Erie Yearly Meeting. She serves as clerk of the Young Quakes planning subcommittee (of FGC Religious Education Committee) and has staffed the FGC High School program for the last nine years.

Left photograph: Cuddle puddles—one of the most popular group activities. Right photograph: Claire Reddy, Mike Kellum, Maria, Asa Borne, Stephanie, Althea, Will Alsup, or Erica serve up spaghetti for dinner. Photographs by Kri Anderson.

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