QUIP Meeting

On the Balkans

Lesson Learned

Many Friends take advantage of excellent beaches on St. Helena Island, including Peg and Nils Pearson with Fred Garay (photo by Neece).

Many Friends take advantage of excellent beaches on St. Helena Island, including Peg and Nils Pearson with Fred Garay (photo by Neece).

I'm writing this article still sorting through a full range of emotions from my experience at the Nurturing the Nurturers Conference at the Penn Center on St. Helena Island, South Carolina. And as time goes by, the lessons for me become clearer and I'm still in the process of learning.

For the first time a conference was designed to bring nurturers together in a safe space to listen and to talk about caring for ourselves. I'm an Afro-American woman who spends time at the United Nations, my monthly meeting and Quaker organizations working on racial issues. I came to this conference for the opportunity to drink at the well that so many others are led to by our nurturing. And a special workshop for Friends of Color had been prepared in which we could express our thoughts about nurturing and being nurtured. So I came with anticipation and questions swirling through my head: How did we nurture our selves after taking care of people in our meeting, on committees, at work and at play? Where do you as a Friend of color draw your strength? I wanted some insight from Friends in the workshop that would truly nourish my soul, to come away with a practice, share reading and skills for coping when you can't teach another "lesson." These are the things that would make the conference a success in my eyes.
A personal joy was St. Helena Island and the Penn Center--steeped in the history of the Sea Islands and Gullah culture, having an opportunity each morning to walk the grounds and surrounding area with the breeze blowing through the trees whispering, "We are here to give you strength." The ground itself vibrating under my feet kept we aware of the newness of the territory and the connectiveness of all my people. A treasure of a lifetime, little did I realize I would be drawing from this energy.

On Friday evening conference clerk Allen Oliver spoke of wanting to attend the Nurturing People of Color workshop and how he had come to understand that this would undermine the purpose of the workshop. However, not everyone was able to understand the limits set forth. So the workshop started with anger, pain and struggle, unable to proceed as it was intended. I found myself unable to center, asking the question, "God, why?" I left that morning session drained, trying hard to hear and feel the Truth. I remember being cradled in my husband's arms because I needed to feel safe. The walk to the motel where we stayed was eerie because of the silence. I stayed in my room praying for guidance until evening. Then a new chapter started and way opened with people who didn't know me just wanting to help any way they could. The clerk of the conference and the FGC staff were very concerned, supportive and nurturing.

My lasting memory of the conference occurred the next morning after walking the surrounding area and coming to clearness about the workshop-Yes, I must return! When I placed my hand on the doorknob I said, "God!" He answered by saying, "Here I am." Outside the workshop room there were faces I knew and some I didn't know, sitting in a circle, holding the workshop and Friends of Color in worship. These caring white Friends were putting themselves on the line so that the workshop could continue as planned. Thus I was able to be nurtured, to drink at the well, thirst quenched, lesson learned. Thanks be to God.

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Ernie Buscemi attends Morningside Monthly Meeting and New York Yearly Meeting. She and her husband Vince are co-clerks of the Gathering 2000 to be held in Rochester, NY.