rom time to time, I mourn the reality that Quakers are taking a long time to face the racism in our midst. When the intensity of the moment passes, I am left with a remnant of the pain that is the reality of racism. What, I wonder, can help white Friends work through guilt, anger, and defensive reactions to face the realities and commit to change? What inspires Friends meetings to gather the determination to be open and teachable?

Consider the reality:

We are aware of the work of Friends on the Underground Railroad, but often forget the major role played, independently, by African Americans. We point to early recognition that slavery was wrong, but Friends had owned slaves, some continuing even after the minute was passed. Additionally, early minutes, such as the Germantown Minute of 1688, were turned down. We have often commented that Friends treated slaves well, without acknowledging the horror of the institution of slavery. We are recognized even by the African American community as allies in civil rights but our schools were often segregated well into the mid-1900s. We have a history of not allowing even very faithful attenders of Color to become members. We have minutes affirming equality but our membership of African Americans remains very low.

Friends have done good things. But too often we have told the stories that emphasize prophetic voice, rather than some harsh reality of our practice. Too often we fall into defensive responses, denials, or silence-indications of anger, defending guilt, evading the connections between Friends and active racism. We have been quick to excuse our lack of success by listing reasons why membership of People of Color is low, without naming the above realities, or asking attenders of Color the reasons they do not join. Even worse, when we have asked and been told, we have often refused to believe, preferring our own assessments, often based on stereotypical thinking. Ignoring the wound of racism, ignoring the reality of this history and the racist doctrine it was built on allows us to be blind to the reality of the legacy of racism within our religious society today. Are our hearts and minds truly open to membership of diverse people? Can we face up to patterns that enforce systemic, societal racism?

Why must we face this? For too long, Friends meetings have not been open to issues brought before them where hurt has been experienced by People of Color. Given our history that linked emotionality with the seeds of war, I wonder if not facing emotional truth has hampered the empathy that would open our hearts to feel the pain, recognize and actively acknowledge our connection to racism and slavery, and the sadness it brings us. I am convinced that as hearts open more to the reality of the pain experienced by Friends of Color within the context of historical and current racism that the minds of Friends will be opened to the reality of racism.

Take the concern about the word "overseer." How many of us white Friends have heard this concern over the years and not paid too much attention? Have we tried to understand the history African Americans have lived with, and the place of overseers in that history? Or do we resist the concern to change because we know, deep in our hearts and minds, how much more will have to change? Are we focused on Quaker culture or Quaker faith?

I've heard the arguments that since the term over-seers was used universally since the early days, we must continue its use; I've heard that since it is an example of "plainspeaking"-describing what we "do," it would be wrong to drop it. While it has been used since early times, very likely from church governing language, it has also been dropped over the years by some already. And I question how many of us believe that the word overseer or oversight truly expresses Friends' yearning and need for mutual caring and nurture within the life of the meeting. On the other hand, it is sobering to realize how quickly Friends gave up the word 'elder' because of hurtful experiences with Friends who eldered in ways that did not reflect the spirit of love.

There are meetings who have come under the weight of this concern. Some have found wonderfully descriptive alternatives: Care and Counsel, Care and Membership, Care and Visitation, Committee of Listening Hearts, Committee for Community Life of the Meeting, and an old substitute, Ministry and Counsel.

As more white Friends come under the weight of the pain of Friends of Color, may we be more open to hearing other truths shared out of past histories and present experiences. As the pain becomes shared more experientially by us, may we notice more directly how racism affects us and become more open to consider the many ways racism can be addressed. May our hearts and minds continue to be opened.

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