Western Gathering:
FGConnections Fall 2006

New Friendships and Deep Listening

By Chuck Esser

Chuck Esser

The hurried walker can miss the universe.
They only see the obstacles in their path.

I experienced being part of the waters at FGC Gathering. Having to slow down in long meal lines and crowded dorms forced a new civility, and with the slowed pace came the opportunity for many new friendships and deep listening.

My most remarkable journey happened the last evening. I had set up a time to meet a young friend on the basketball court, but also wanted to go the final plenary to hear Sue Williams share her experiences with outreach beyond our borders and standing in the middle so peace can progress. There was one person on the basketball court and I went over and started to shoot while I was waiting.

This young man shared that he was part of the conference staff; his name was David. As we played he warmly encouraged me and I complimented him on his talent. We talked about the NBA. In the course of our conversation I learned he was from the south of Sudan and that most of his village had been killed, including his father and brother. He had come to the US through a UN refugee camp. We talked of the NBA player, Minute Bol, who is from a village very near his. He spoke about saving money to bring his mother and sister here, and about his excitement at being a student at PLU. We talked of the Lord’s Resistance Army, child soldiers, and my experience working with friends from Gulu, Uganda, right across the border. He shared hopes for himself and his country. I asked if he had anyone to really listen to him about all he had been through. He said that many of the boys from Sudan who where here had made money on their stories but, out of conscience, he couldn’t.

My young friend Jeremy and two others arrived and we all played together. After a while I said a connected good by, and walked into the plenary just as Sue Williams was sharing about her work in Uganda. I realized that God was at work: as we were talking about things in the world, the same world was right here if only I slowed to find it. Later in the evening I regretted having no way to stay connected, no chance to deepen this beginning friendship. As Pamela and I were checking out of our dorm the next day, who should be at the desk but David, cheery and positive as he was the night before. We exchanged contact information and promised to be in touch. The path opens in amazing ways if we allow ourselves be part of the water.

I also met my new three-year-old friend Daidio because he was the younger brother of my goddaughter’s new Gathering friend. We all went cherry picking and swimming together and something connected between Daidio and me immediately. He started to literally run into me and laugh and laugh.

I loved talking to his harried good mom and learned of her Arizona meeting’s concern for providing sanctuary for immigrants being harassed at the Mexican border. I learned the story of her husband coming from Mexico and becoming a permanent resident. She and I went to the AFSC presentation on border questions and I heard her fluent Spanish and deep commitment to justice.

Daidio kept being part of my life all week. He picked me out of the crowd and claimed me. I felt special, but I was not alone. I watched how he engaged everyone he met and how they left his presence with joy in their hearts. Whenever he saw me he ran into me and we played without words for a few minutes. I was wondering if I would get to see him and say good-bye at the end of the conference. As I centered in the final meeting for worship, Daidio found me. He came right to my seat with a Bible over his face playing peek-a-boo. He gave me the Bible and then crawled into my lap and wiggled his way under my chair before saying goodbye.

Chuck Esser is a member of Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting. He has had a concern for racial justice since he was a young person. He works with young people and families, and has led workshops at FGC Gathering and in many other countries on these and other topics.

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