In the fall of 1999, Jan Hoffman of Mount Toby Meeting, NEYM, and I were led to travel in the ministry with a concern for nurturing ministry and eldering and minister-elder relationships. Sponsored and supported logistically by Ben Lomond (Calif.) Quaker Center, we spent three weeks traveling to five monthly meetings for evening or afternoon visits, did two Saturday workshops, and ended with a weekend conference at Ben Lomond, which we co-led with Bob Schmitt of Twin Cities Meeting, NYM.

This experience brought home to me a surprising lesson. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. “Traveling in the ministry” seemed to be all about God, spirituality, faithfulness, and well, ministry. And it is. But it’s also just plain traveling. I’d like to share some observations based on that trip and others.

Sleep

Often when Friends are traveling in the ministry, they are given home hospitality. What a wonderful opportunity to get to know Friends in a relaxed, mutual atmosphere! What a gift to be invited into someone’s home, to be fed and cared for!

And what an opportunity to practice balancing authentic good manners with real personal needs. Many of us are familiar with the dietary dance, and most hosts ask about breakfast preferences or dietary restrictions. Other needs are not necessarily addressed in advance.

I’m 6 foot 2 inches tall and have back problems. Offered hospitality sight-unseen, I sometimes wound up in too-short beds with footboards, or in very soft or sagging beds. What to do? It took me a week and a half of traveling and sleeping in strange beds before I mustered up the courage when taken to one last minute host to say, “Actually, a firm bed would be much better for me.” The host slept in the spare room and gave me her bed. How gracious and how awkward.

Now I know that I should let the planner or person arranging hospitality know before they begin planning that I need a long, firm bed, especially if the visit is over several nights or is part of a longer trip.

Companionship

From my journal: “Traveling together isn’t a day off.” Jan and I learned that we needed a balance of spontaneity and planning. Flying or driving together was sometimes an easy, companionable time, whether we were talking, admiring the scenery together, or just being quiet together. Sometimes, however, when we were tired or having an off day, we needed to plan quiet time when together or schedule opportunities for time alone. When we weren’t at our best, we sometimes weren’t very good at noticing the other’s needs to be left alone.

Another companionship issue when traveling is family and friends at home. We all make arrangements to talk or write to those we care about who aren’t traveling with us, but being away is still being away. Two people taught me spectacular lessons about this. My partner, who had a copy of the itinerary with contact information for hosts, sent a large tin of chocolate chip cookies to arrive about a week into the trip. And Pat McBee, a Friend from my meeting, contacted people she knew in several of the locations we were traveling, who came up to me and delivered a hug and a warm greeting on behalf of Pat.

There are many other mundane tips about traveling that apply whether one is on a vacation or traveling in the ministry. Deborah Fisch, the FGC Traveling Ministires coordinator, has developed a list that is sent to those participating in the program. Everyone has their own travel lessons they’ve learned—the trick is to apply them to all sorts of travel.

FGConnections Fall 2002 Home