nyym

Friends-

There is a missing young Friend from Easton Monthly Meeting in upstate New York. Jaliek Rainwalker has been missing since November 1. If you have any information about his whereabouts, please contact his parents.

Emily Stewart

This is also published in New York Yearly Meetings Infoshare

As the Youth Ministries Coordinator for Friends General Conference I’ve had the opportunity to attend several yearly meetings during their annual sessions. This year, I was fortunate that New York Yearly Meeting was among the 3 yearly meetings that I attended. Yearly meetings have different numbers of young people and incorporate them into fellowship and business in various ways. However, most yearly meetings, including NYYM, are asking the question: How do we create a truly multigenerational, spiritual community where all Friends feel a part of and are engaged with Quakerism?

Having grown up with a small Young Friends group of only six people, I was surprised at how many Young Friends attended NYYM, how many families were present, and that Young Adult Friends continue to come back well after college. When I asked younger Friends why they attended NYYM, they spoke with joy about growing up participating in Powell House retreats and attending yearly meeting with their family. They loved returning year after year to reconnect with their community of friends, to worship and play, and enjoy the beauty of Lake George. I was so happy to see families playing shuffleboard, kids hanging out at the beach, and YAFs leading intergenerational game nights. I was awed by the youthful energy and beauty of it all.

Yet, there were only a handful of Young Adult Friends present in the business meeting sessions. Even though I enjoyed attending the business meetings, I felt the tension of wanting to be canoeing, swimming, or worshiping outside. This made it difficult for me to be truly present. It seems like a Catch 22: New York Yearly Meeting offers activities that are welcoming to Friends of all ages, but then Friends chose not to be a part of the Quaker business process of the yearly meeting. I recognize that business meetings can be long and tedious at times, but I’ve also experienced how powerful they are.

It wasn’t until last year, when my job required me to attend a number of business meeting sessions in different yearly meetings, that I began to see how awesome business meeting could be. Some of the conversations were thought provoking, engaging, and very Spirit-led. There were discussions focused on race, Christian language, and sexual discrimination that made me both proud and sometimes embarrassed to be a Friend. They pushed me to look for Truth in other’s beliefs and to stand in my own. Business meetings are a place to address the challenges Friends face living our testimonies of equality, integrity, peace, simplicity and community today. I believe that many YAFs struggle with how to live these testimonies in their everyday lives and have a lot to offer to these conversations. I hope Friends of all ages extend personal invitations to one another, or that younger Friends go in groups to meeting for worship with a concern for business, so that we can all experience what is a fundamentally awesome way of doing business.

I understand that some younger Friends may not be lead to business meeting or even to worship at monthly meetings at this time in their lives. The query posed by the Circle of Young Friends during the worship session at NYYM sessions asked “What is the role of Young Adult Friends in the yearly meeting, and how can we all work to nurture it?” One Friends’ message really spoke to me. They recognized the different gifts that Young Adult Friends offer, like the ministry of bringing people together for Frisbee games and caring for the children. How do we acknowledge and appreciate all of the diversity of gifts Friends bring to our religious community? Some Friends in their twenties might not attend a monthly meeting or go to business sessions, but they are deeply spiritual and wrestle with what it means to live as a Quaker in their everyday lives. How do we nurture Friends ministries as they grow and change?

I believe that as a religious society, we are all called to be faithful to keep asking the questions, lifting up different ministries of Friends, and putting out the invitation to help create a multigenerational, spiritual community together. It’s important that New York Yearly Meeting keep having worship sharings on YAF concerns, creating task groups on youth and offering a loving space for young people to return to every year. It’s also important that younger Friends encourage one another to participate in opportunities, such as business meeting, that challenge us all to be part of a fully engaged faith community.

4 Trains, 1 Bus

I recently had the opportunity to visit with a group of YAFs from the Circle of Young Friends in New York. I found myself nervous traveling up to the meetinghouse, not knowing anyone there but happy at being welcomed warmly and making new friends!

While some of the divisions between different branches of Quakerism are known, we also found differences within our gathering, despite all coming from unprogrammed meetings/worship groups. Those differences were mostly with words, and how those words affect our imagery. We found difficulty with "God talk" and with our pronouns. But more importantly, we found our connection beyond those words, the Spirit moved in and among us. Though we had many words and meanings for it, we all felt it nonetheless.

Since the total group was no more than 12, we were able to go deep, share experiences, and respond much quicker than would normally be able to do in a larger gathering; it was like being in small worship sharing groups all the time. I enjoyed the warmth and closeness that only comes with a small group, and I feel I could relax and open up and get to know every single person there. Together, we broke bread, played games, sung, worshiped, fed the worm-filled compost pile and made good use of the sippy cups.

The theme of the gathering was: "What does it mean to call ourselves Quaker?" So lastly, I'll share with you what I wrote in one of our sessions:

What is a Quaker?

A Quaker is a listener, a listener for the Divine. This Spirit that is found inside everyone, speaks to us if we'd only listen.

A Quaker is a doer, a doer of deeds that reflect on what they have heard within, if we'd only answer that call.

A Quaker is a seeker, a seeker of Truth that lies beyond worldly endeavors and yet works within them if we'd only look.

A Quaker is a speaker, a speaker of the Light that shows us what the Divine wants us to see if we'd only open our eyes.

A Quaker is joy, sharing gladness and triumph for all people everywhere if we'd only open our hearts.

A Quaker is sadness, bearing the world's tears from the ocean of darkness and bearers of others burdens to the ocean of Light if we'd only just help.

A Quaker is hope, hope for the Kingdom brought down on earth anew made by all if we'd only just build.

In Light,
-John Lavin

All Friends Everywhere,

NYYM YAF GatheringWe write to you from Brooklyn’s meetinghouse in New York City during a time of retreat and exploration. Here twelve Young Adult Friends gathered for a conference titled Faith and Practice: Finding Yourself Quaker. We came together Friday evening and remained with each other in the Spirit of worship, play, and sharing until the rise of Brooklyn’s Meeting for Worship on First Day. The hospitality afforded by the meetinghouse space was greatly appreciated, and we were grateful again for having such a welcoming environment in which to join. During the time spent together we have experienced fellowship, nourishment, and support in seeking our paths. The whole of the gathering has been full of gratitude and connection.

Friday evening Friends were encouraged to consider different aspects of Quakerism, and together we collected a list of words that rose in us as we thought about what Quakers are. The list held ideals, ordeals, hopes and truths. It contained Continuing Revelation and Committees, Seriousness and Lightheartedness, Questioning and Affirming Christianity, Political Awareness, Quaker Guilt, Mysticism, Silence, and Joy. Even as we took it down, we knew that no list could ever be long enough to explain it fully. No list could capture the gestalt… and so we moved to questions.

During the late evening of Friday, and throughout the day on Saturday we asked and grasped after Truth. We wondered who we were and asked it aloud. Then we wondered what we were if no one agreed. We took pride in our heritage and history and wondered about our future. We struggled with the idea that some are Quaker because of the community it provides and others because of the spirituality. We want to know if one can be had without the other. Would either be complete? We asked if there was a right way to worship; if we should, or could, draw lines to define us; and whether or not there was any joy in worship. We asked what the Divine was. We asked if Divine was. We wondered and we wandered. And we did it all together.

Though we all grapple with difficult questions, it is not as common for us to do this work together and aloud. We found that there was power in speaking these questions into the space and in trying to answer them together. The atmosphere was live and our conversation flowed smoothly from one thing to the next. And yet, for all the variety of topics, there were moments when we knew each other’s experience deeply. In the space of that moment we placed words on our experience and spoke them.
These are ours.

Sewn with threads of Word.
There are many voices.
Many fingers pointing.
One moon.
There is something that connects all of us.
There is something that is the same in all of us.
There is this energy to be alive.
It makes people whole and real.
When we settle in Gathered Stillness we open ourselves into the possibility of a profound experience which all can recognize, and no book can define…
Everything is there. It is exciting. Breathing faster. Heart beat up.
Everyone is themselves and more. More opened up. More…
There is Love.
It liberates.
Using the word love is dangerous though.
You end up saying love can fix the world.
Instead lets say…
The Universe is here. In its entirety.
Raw in this moment.
Commit.
Carry it forward.
Hear that?
See how it pushes you forward?
Feel how it grows larger still?
Is there sweetness in your mouth?
Will the shaking stop?
Is there more?
We help it along. Sure we do. But it does it itself too.
…and there is joy…. and gratitude to celebrate.
For those around us.
For friends.
For enemies.
For my life. Speak it.
For life. Acknowledge it.
Remember.
There are many voices.
These are ours.

We came for Faith and Practice: Finding Yourself Quaker and discovered that what we were looking for was, of course, in front of us the whole time. Quakerism is about finding. In this moment. Renewing again in every moment. Failing. Trying again. And trying again. In community. In silence and stillness.

To paraphrase Thomas Kelley, a practicing Friend must above all be one who practices a continual returning to inner stillness, who draws the world into the silence and Light found there, and is ready to bring that Light into the world, and is willing to be changed because of it all. A practicing Friend is one who does this and is willing to do it with others. Again and again. We feel called to this. This calls to us.

We are grateful for having had this time to be with one another, to have explored, and to be refreshed. And we are grateful and joyed to be able to share it with you.

In this long moment,
Callid Keefe-Perry Rochester
Jillian Smith Saratoga
Sarah Brown Rockland
Niko Tsocanos Wilton
Alex Tsocanos Wilton
Sebastian Tsocanos Wilton
Rebecca Haines Mohawk Valley
Alex Haines Mohawk Valley
Beth Vardy Philipstown Worship Group
Luke Jones 15th Street
Brianna Higgins Wilton
John Lavin Birmingham, Philadelphia Yearly Meeting